Knock 'em out!

Girls! There are many douche bags in this world and far too often we settle for their sorry asses, WHY? We're beautiful, intelligent, successful, passionate people, do we not deserve someone who will love and respect us and not act like an asshole?

Sorry to say but 90% of the dudes that randomly hit on girls are dirt bags. And a lot of us don't want to be mean and don't want to be rude BUT wouldn't you rather assert yourself, show the prick that you're a strong, beautiful, independent woman who doesn't need his nasty ass hitting on you in the middle of Bloor street or would you rather suffer the fate of Olga's voice mail and be harassed by a psychopath?

Oh Olga's voice mail! Have you met Olga's voice mail? Olga's voice mail was mercilessly harassed by Dimitri the psychotic douche:



...there are just so many things that we could touch upon that every [intelligent] woman knows to be red flags but the one thing that I think we can all agree upon is that any guy that toots his own horn in regards to quality of fucks, well...he's a douche...and probably isn't that good in bed!

Wondering how to tackle the awkward situation of having some douche being sprung upon you? (ha no pun intended)? Well, I say be rude as hell! Or you could listen to Lily's advice:

A Rick Nash Picture Moment

Today's theme is: Rick Nash looking ~*thrilled*~





Geez, Rick what would it take for you to crack a smile...oh right, ME!






*all pictures lead to their source @ flickr

Coles Notes on the NHL

My Delinquinent Little Brother, the Toronto Maple Leafs are getting rearranged:

Fletch, T.O.'s non GM but acting like a GM is currently cleaning house...like for real! They bought out Tucker, placed Raycroft, and Wellwood on waivers (Wellwood was just picked up by the Canucks...why Vancouver? why?) and apparently, that useless defencemen, McCabe is next on the hit list. WOW all the players I thought the Leafs would NEVER get rid of are all on their way out in a matter of days. I might have to start actually liking the Leafs...like ligitmately and not out of obligation...hell hath frozen over indeed (Oh and Sundin's totally gone!)

Vincent Levcavalier signs his life away:

Vinny signs a life sentence with the Tampa Bay Lightning and will get $77 million over nine years. I just have this feeling that this is exactly the kind of deal Levcavalier should NOT have made...I guess you can never really tell how a team will fare, I mean look at Philly, last season they were last in the league and this season they made it all the way to the 2nd round of the playoffs. If he stays (which he is) then I hope he wins Tampa another cup.


Hossa's being a little bitch:

Apparently Marian Hossa does not want to stay in Pittsburgh because they aren't offering him enough money, which is all fine and well and everything BUT a) he said he was willing to take less money to stay with a good team...apparently not and b) according to TSN, The pens were offering Hossa a Jerome Iginla type deal...all I have to say is Jerome Iginla is a leader, an amazing player, a good guy, a guy with integrity; he scores, he checks, he drops the gloves; Jerome Iginla is one of the best players in the league; Marian Hossa is no Jerome Iginla! But do you know what the worst part is? Some stupid GM on some other team will pay Marain Hossa an exuberant amount of money, just so he can disappear in the playoffs, and move to another team when February rolls around...yea Hossa is tooooooootally worth more than Jerome Iginla, bitch please!

Gart Robert wishes to spread fear to another hockey franchise:

Gary Robers will not be back with the pens next year. After making it all the way to the Stanley Cup finals Roberts will not be back...he says its because, Ray Shero needs cap space to sign other players but I think it has something to do with his relationship with the pens coaching staff...but hey that's just me

Only By The Night

Just announced; Kings of Leon's new album will be called Only By The Night (kind of reminds me of Depeche Mode's 'Waiting for the night') and it will be released September 23. Oh boys thats 3 months too late, I want it NOW!!!!!!!!

OOO I can't wait for tour dates and singles, AHHHHHHHHH, SO excited!

The Armadilos in Our Pants

My boys, my loves, my soul. The Kings are known for being upfront and honest; no bullshit! This interview is kind of old BUT it was an interview they did right before I saw them in concert last year AND since they're recording a new album, I figure I'll get myself revved up and fall in love with the Kings of Leon all over again.



PS isn't Jared hilarious? He'd be the best to get drunk with, don't you think?

Lovelies

Love Sienna Miller. Love Keira Knightly. Love them together. Love what they're wearing. Love that they didn't show up in a baby doll dresses and Christian Louboutin peep toe pumps. I mean I love Christian Louboutin peep toe pumps, and I'd totally own a pair if I could afford them but they're SO over played, SO safe, and SO Lauren Conrad, ya know what I mean?

I also love how they don't give a fuck about what anybody thinks of them. They're so cool, so effortless, so glamorous. They both say what they want to say without a publicist censoring them, but what I love most about these two is how they're actresses not celebrities.

Oh and I am totally seeing Edge of Love, even if it weren't for these two; two words: Cillian. Murphy.

Hockey Players Can't Dress Part 1

Since the season's over and I'm forced to watch Blue Jay games BUT I finally have the time to do another series which was a long time coming. Its called Hockey Players Can't Dress. I regularly rip on the NHL's best and brightest for their apparel and foot wear and oh yes, no one is safe!

Today we're starting off with a picture that has puzzled me for nearly a year, it's taken me a year to fully grasp what the hell is going on in this picture. I mean y'all are millionaires, and you're telling me you can't afford a stylist or at the very least a personal shopper at Bloomingdale's...bitch please!




Rick DiPietro:
Is that a hanes undershirt UNDER a pinstripe 1000 dollar blazer??? Rick, what the hell were you thinking??? I'm all for mixing designer pieces with regular Old Navy clothes but sometimes it works and other times it doesn't...here it doesn't. You can't tell from this particular photo but Rick's 1000 dollar jacket is an ill-fitting one. If you're going to invest in a piece of clothing make sure its a) classic - so you can wear it for many seasons to come; b) its of good quality - if it rips a week after you buy it, you practically flushed your money down the toilet; and c) it fits well - Hey Rick you aren't 9 years old, you don't have to buy clothes that you'll grow into anymore! There's only one thing Rick's got going on with this outfit and its his jeans (you can see them in this photo) the wash and fit are spot on!

Verdict: I appreciate that Rick tried to pull of the Male-model off duty look (because Rick's red hot!) but please do not attempt this on your own! Read GQ, hire a stylist, let your girlfriend dress you! Whatever! Or else you'll end up with get ups that are a clear indication that outside of your hockey gear you cannot dress yourself!

Grade: C+

Don't you give my that look Ryan!

Ryan Miller:
I really don't like Ryan Miller. I don't know what it is. Its probably the smug look that's permanently on his face or the fact that he thinks his hair cut is cool. PUH-LEEZE. ANYWAYS!!! Looks like Ryan Miller tried to imitate what Rick was doing except, instead of a hanes undershirt he's wearing a henley under a 1000 dollar blazer. Really Ryan, really??? I can understand the t-shirt under the blazer but a henley? a henley? it kind of looks like your pajamas, dude! and the jacket, is too straight, too boxy, its doing nothing for your figure, honey. I feel like if it were a little shorter and brought in a little, it would emphasize your shoulders, and give the appearance that you work out 7 hours a day like our lord and savior, Sidney Crosby. And your jeans, Ugh your jeans, the wash should be a little darker and the fit, THAT FIT???? Oh Ryan, with a boot cut it wouldn't be completely hopeless.

Verdict: Like Rick's outfit, Ryan is trying; he knows where he wants to go, he just doesn't know how to get there. Again, girlfriends are a big help Ryan, I mean we've been forced fed fashion and style since age 11.

Grade: C


Derek Roy:
That. shirt. WTF is that? WTH is going on? WHY DEREK? WHHHHHYYYYYYYYYYYYY??? I mean your jeans are the wrong fit, and the wrong wash it just makes you look like Stumpy McStump but DUDE that shirt, THAT SHIRT!!!!! It looks like Brody Jenner's graphic tee collection threw up all over you. That shirt is hideous, HIDEOUS, I SAY!!!!! Clearly you do not have a woman in your life because no self-respecting woman would never let her boyfriend/friend/brother/father/cousin/uncle go out in a monstrosity like that.

Verdict: The apocalypse is coming

Grade: F


BONUS!!!!!!!!!!!!
A Video of the event they all attended

Crosby VS Ovechkin: ITS A WALK-OFF!!!

Comparing fashion sense, swagger and overall style; who will come out on top???

"Listen to your friend Billy Zane, he's a cool dude"



Sidney Crosby:







Alexander Ovechkin:



Alexander Ovechkin wins this hands down!!! Why you ask, well husband no. 6, love of my life Sidney Crosby, is one of the nicest guys you'll ever meet but he also wears bright yellow crocs, and that shit just doesn't cut it on the runways of Paris

Alexander Ovechkin: "is so hot right now!!!!"

Sidney = Derek Zoolander, Alexander = Hansel; am I wrong?

File This One Under: Random

I don't watch MuchMusic anymore because of the MTV rip-off shows they like to produce (see: the totally untrue history of...), the fact that I think I'm 5 years off of their target audience (13-15 yr olds), the fact that MTV Canada is a bajillion times better, AND because of the annoying slags they like to hire. But last night was the MuchMusic Video Awards, originally I wasn't going to watch it, because the MMVAs are quiet lame and embarrassing (I mean, the middle aged crisis on the block preformed...really, now!) But then I heard that Jason Spezza was going to be there and since the season's over anything slightly hockey related I will devour without a second thought!


Ok so they invited Jason Spezza...Jason Spezza guys! Of all the hockey players they could choose from, they chose Jason Spezza. Despite his hockey skillzzzz Spizza boy is a dork, a HUGE dork, his voice sounds like to should belong to a guy who gets excited about Battlestar Galactica Fanfic. Plus he was soooo awkward last night, I felt kind of bad for him.

C'mon MuchMusic, Jason Spezza? Jason Spezza? Why not Brooks Laich? I doubt he was busy PLUS he's hot AND charismatic. CLEARLY MuchMusic has jumped the shark...how tragic!

BTW: I loved it when Sarah asked him who he wanted to go home with tonight, he said no one because he's taken, and she fully told him "I don't believe that", HAAAAAAA!!!!!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY RICK!!!!!!!!!

Today is husband no. 5, Rick Nash's 24th birthday!!!! ooo sooo exciting!!!! Now while Rick, Dany, Sidney, Paul, Lt. Sharpe, Leonard, Caleb (through speaker phone), and I have a drunken night of cake, champagne, dirty se--scrable and monopoly *cough* you can enjoy his 2K9 commercial.



and that kissing noise he makes...*melts*

But in all seriousness, Rick is one of the sickest players, non?

Annoying Slag Name Drops...

BARF!!!!




what's with the Duff attracting the desperate/hangers on? Its not like she's Lindsay Lohan or anything.




BTW: MTV Canada > MuchMusic anyday!!!!!!

I've been working awful hard for you

So the real loves of my life Kings of Leon, are currently recording their 4th studio album, and I am SO excited!!! I can never get enough of the Kings, they're my soul you know!!! They just released 'Because of the Times' and they're already working on their 4th album set to be released sometime in September...my boys are so prolific, non?

Apparently the songs will be more political on this album. I always kind of thought they were all Republicans 'cause they're from the South BUT now something tells me they just hate how fucked up everything is. I don't think they'll pledge themselves to any particular party but they're making a statement and I can't wait to hear it.

PLUS all the Kings are in love...yes EVEN Caleb (who knew?) So perhaps love songs galore??? More "true love ways"??? Maybe backing vocals by the beautiful and talented Jessie Baylin??? oooo I can't wait!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

PS Caleb is totally trying to win me back, I mean its soooo obvious, why else would they record an album so soon?

PPS Am SOOOOO jealous of Jessie, how does she get her hair like that??? I wish my hair would do that! Ugh I love that woman so much, I can't wait for her album either!

NHL 2K9 Cover Boy Rick Nash

So I was at work yesterday and I saw this dude that kind of looked like Rick Nash, so since I'm crazy, I'm throughly convinced it was Rick Nash's brother (even though it probably wasn't BUT shut up it like totally could have been!!!!!!!)

Anywayzzzzzzz, Dion ain't the only one with a video game cover, my darling Rick has one too!!!! so here's some photos to wet your appetite ( and mine too!)






isn't he the dreamiest??? *sigh*

oh there are words that go along with these picture but to be perfectly honest I'd rather stare and drool than read:

Puck Daddy meets Rick Nash, Columbus Blue Jackets
Behind the scenes of NHL 2K9: Rick Nash's Mo-Cap Madness

Scariest.Thing.EVER.

you don't know how much this segment traumatized my childhood. Why is that U molesting Smokey, WHY????

EEEESH

Alexander Ovechkin en Vogue

Today are the NHL Awards and to be perfectly honest I think Alexander Ovechkin is going to clean HOUSE! And what's more he's launching his own clothing line via CCM which from growing up in the early 90s, was one of THE brands for hockey (RBK didn't exist then kids...ok it did but it was uncool back then AND did they even make hockey equipment back in '93).


Judging from his designs they're a lot more 'cooler' than Sidney's RBK line AND Alex's got Blue Steel down to an art! (which is more than I could say for Crosby...)

Alexander Ovechkin is so hot right now!

So what's it doing for him?

We know that Dion's philandering has gotten him a video game cover but what of Mike Comrie? What's boinking Lizzie McGuire got him? Sure he's gotten floor tickets to an LA Lakers game (boo!!!! go Celtics !!!!!!!!!) but in terms of his career, of endorsement deals, of being one of the faces of hockey????? What is Mike Comrie getting out of this?

NADA, that's what!

I guess its entirely possible that, he loves ~*Hil*~ for ~*Hil*~, and that this relationship is completely selfless and giving, etc. etc. etc. But unfortunately the tooth fair doesn't exist, we don't go to care bare land when we die AND the good guys rarely win. Do not be fooled people, this is the era of who you date or how much you're photographed can help further your career. Their relationship is on public display, they want us to watch, to fantasize about weddings and babies, so that we'll buy their albums, their clothing lines, and so the calls keeping coming from various sponsors/designers/organizers.

9 times out of 10 when you see candids of a celeb, they or their people have called various agencies to catch them going ~*grocery shopping*~ or ~*buying lattes*~ or ~*walking their dog(s)*~. Nothing is an accident when it comes to Hollywood, and Mike and Hilary are no different. BUT unfortunately for Michael it seems that Gatorade/RBK/Nike-Bauer/Under Armour hell even the NHL itself doesn't give a damn that Mike Comrie is boinking the Duff.

Why?

Sorry Mike! You'll never get to stand beside Peyton Manning, EAT YOUR HEART OUT!!!

Probably because Mike had his shot for NHL stardom and fucked it up, probably in Edmonton, where he allegedly fucked someone's wife, but that's never been confirmed so who knows, right? *cough* Plus he's never developed into a standout player, sure on the New York Islanders he's the 2nd best player but guys its the New York Islanders, my delinquent little brother, the Toronto Maple Leafs, placed better than them! I'm pretty sure I'd be a star player on the NYI. When 2010 comes DO NOT be surprised when Steve Yzerman DOES NOT call Mike Comrie to be a part of Team Canada. I mean why would you want Comrie when you can have Crosby, Nash, Heatley, Richards, Staals (all 4), Spezza, Lecavalier, Doan, Keith, Green, Savard, St.Louis...do I need to go on?

But don't you fret, all you Mike + Hilary lovers, he'll never get rid of the Duff even if its doing nothing for his career, I mean could Mike do better than Hilary Duff??? Methinks not!!!! She'll definitely be doing the dumping! Which I hopes she does soon because she deserves so much better!

DREAM SEQUENCE

Last night I had this dream where I was the newest member of the Vancouver Canucks (random much?) and it was the first game of the season. As I was walking up to the entrance of the arena I was met by Mike Richards (who, I guess, is on Vancouver, apparently) and Trevor Linden. Mike was holding Trevor the way you hold your grandpa when helping him up the stairs. I grabbed Trevor's other arm and Mike and I escorted him through all the journalists and photographers and fans. Mike told me that we were going to do a special presentation for Trevor even though the Canucks already did one at the end of last season.

Once inside Mike took Trevor down some hallway and I went to the dressing room. The first person I see is a half dressed Dany Heatley (hubba hubba!), he smiled at me like the way a guy smiles at you when he's most likely picturing you naked he's about to come ~*mack*~ you. I laughed and asked him "what" and he just laughed back at me. I went to my cubicle/stall thingy and started taking of my jacket; I turned around and right behind me was Marc-Andre Fleury . He was just sitting there, staring off into space. I walked over to him and took his hand and I whispered to him "I know Marc-Andre, I know!". He was pretty bummed out that he was one of the penguins that got traded, no one saw it coming, we all thought it would have been Ryan Malone but alas 'we' got Marc-Andre Fleury.

Ron Wilson To Be My New Dad

So apparently its, pretty much confirmed that Ron Wilson will be the new coach of my delinquent little brother, the Toronto Maple Leafs.

Hopefully my new Dad will teach that little brat a thing or two, like getting rid of Toronto's faded stars i.e. Mats Sundin, Darcy Tucker, Brian McCabe; and mold the players that would be off the hook anywhere else but since this is Toronto they suck ass i.e. Tomas Kaberle, Nik Antropov, Pavel Kubina.

OMG! Ron Wilson will be reunited with Finnish CUTENESS Vesa Toskala...this could be good thing for us after all...or not...let's not get ahead of ourselves this is after all the Toronto Maple Leafs.


PS welcome to the twisted playhouse Tom Stapleton, let's just see how long you last!

IT WORKED!!!!!!!!!!

Frolicking on the beach with Elisha Cuthbert HAS helped Dion Phaneuf! It was just announced that Dion will be gracing the cover of EA Sports NHL '09 cover.

Last year's cover, featuring Eric Staal

I'm still not convinced about these two, its been an emotional rollercoaster ride. I've always liked Dion and I've always liked Elisha but them together + hollywood + Paris Hilton that infectious bleeding from every orifice disease?

...once again, the jury is out on this one.

The End of an Era

The Hockey Night in Canada theme song is no more

BREAKING NEWS!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Wikipedia actually has an entry on Chavs... and places of higher education don't recognize Wikipedia as a reliable/valid source???? PUH-LEEZE!

But srsly, all I have to say is: L.O.L.


More examples of Chavs:










Lovely, aren't they?