Best of 2010: Emma Stone

Who: Emma Stone
What: Actor
Category: Movies
Why: I feel like Emma Stone's career is the career Lindsay Lohan (our mascot) should have had- had she not snorted it away. And no its not because they're both redheads (Emma's actually a natural blonde, can you believe?). While Lindsay started off as a Disney child star, her career really took off when she stared in Mean Girls an unapologetic teen comedy. Emma's career really took off after another unapologetic teen comedy, Superbad, from there she moved from strength to strength; my personal favourite Zombieland! Her resume is nowhere near as long as Lindsay's but she has made the right choices- like not getting a DUI, and as of now she has eclipsed our dear mascot because Emma has just been nominated for a Golden Globe, for Easy A! But enough with the comparisons because Emma's talent is one that should stand alone, she has several movies in production, including the Spiderman remake. And no I don't hold it against her that she's friends with Taylor Swift, I like her that much.

Zombieland


Easy A

Garrett Hedlund is new here

...and he's hot!

I know I'm not usually down with Hollywood types and don't really post about them but, Garrett Hedlund- I WOULD!

Let's Talk About Kick Ass for a Moment.

I've been waiting to see Kick-Ass for months ever since I saw the redband trailer for Hit Girl (the female superhero in the movie) my interest was piqued. After watching it I didn't know if I should be horrified or worshipping her, they left me hanging and I wanted more.

The marketing people behind this, they know what they're doing.

Before seeing the movie I read several critiques both negative and positive. Roger Ebert called the movie 'morally reprehensible' while The Star gave it a rare 4 out of 4 stars. It was obvious I NEEDED to see this movie to decide for myself.

I went with the bff who like me, deconstructs everything, and also like me is an undercover nerd (we actually read Watchmen, lol), so I knew if there was any bullsh-t going on and I didn't detect it, she would have. So my verdict?


Its pretty much the most entertaining, darkly funny, movie I've seen in a long time. The story line was good, the characterization was good, the soundtrack was good. It was directed by Matthew Vaughn (Layer Cake) so I know it was in good hands. Let's cut the crap shall we? No one really cares about the title character (Aaron Johnson) or McLovin (Christopher Mintz Plasse) or even Nic Cage, no, everyone is talking about the runaway star Hit Girl (Chloe Grace Moretz).

Oh the controversial Hit Girl, even I struggled with her. Let's get this straight though. This is not a children's movie, its an adult movie. No not that kind of adult movie. Its a movie for mature minds. And sure there are going to be those people who should have never procreated who will take their 6 year old to see this movie, when I went to see Watchmen some woman brought her 2 year old son but I repeat this is not a children's movie! Here in Ontario its 18A if that's any indication.

This movie is gorey and violent, really gorey and violent, while some parts were so over the top that it became ridiculous some parts did make me wince, one part involving Hit Girl. There are positives and negatives that you can take away from this film. The negatives being obvious, a little girl violently killing with little remorse, and getting beat up by a grown man. Then the postives which require more thought and less knee jerking.

For instance, when saving some dude from a gang fight, the leader of the gang asks Kick Ass, why would he want to die for that P-O-S, what was wrong with him? He replies, 3 guys beating up one dude to a pulp, while people just stand around doing nothing, and he thinks there's something wrong with him? Its a good satire, who's message is, society is only as good as we make it.


Another positive is Hit Girl. While she kills people, says C-U-Next-Tuesday, and wants a switch blade knife for her birthday, there is something about Hit Girl, that you can't deny is appealing. She's smart,she's sassy, she listens to her father, she can kick ass, but there is still an innocence to her. I love the idea that a young girl has agency and control over the forces in her life. I love how she can take care of herself and doesn't allow herself to be victimized or have to manspaline. Here she is, in our society, a figure of the weakest of the weak: a young GIRL, who single handedly takes down a crime boss and all his cronies, how can anyone not be impressed with that idea? How is that worse than Miley Cyrus' pole dance? Ever since this controversy started to build I kept asking myself had Hit Girl been Hit Boy, would there me this much controversy? I think there would be a bit of a stink but no one would be calling this movie 'morally reprehensible'. And is it even?


Are not Hostel, Saw, and any Rob Zombie movie morally reprehensible for their torture porn antics? Are not the Human Centipide and The Sebian Movie morally reprehensible for their vomit inducing, brain bleeching, storylines? Aren't gross out comedies morally reprehensible, for their homophobic, racist, misogynistic, jokes? And aren't rom coms morally reprehensible with their recycled bullsh-t story lines who make women believe that without a man, no matter how great your job is, you truly aren't successful? Why is no one getting in their faces?

So a little blonde girl, kills some bad guys, what's wrong with her having agency? What's wrong with her having power and strength? She doesn't want to be a popstar, she doesn't want to be a model, she doesn't want to be an actress, she wants to kill bad guys and come home and have some hot chocolate. In this end its an adult movie, so its counting on the audience not to just look at this and see a girl with 45 calibre gun, its an action movie yes but it requires some thinking, as adults you should understand the difference between reality and fantasy. Is Kick-Ass any worse than what's on the news? Is it any worse than what millions of children have to endure all over the world? If you have a problem with this movie maybe you need to climb down from your ivory tower and take a gander at the state of the world, Kick-Ass will seem like child's play (so to speak).



In the end I'll have to disagree with Roger Ebert and join the cool kids table with The Star and their 4/4 rating.

Oh Boo!

Look what we have here, the trailer for The Descent 2. Isn't looking too good. Would they really bring with them a woman they believe to be bat shit crazy on a search and rescue mission, to look for women she supposedly abandoned/killed? Because what's stopping her from doing it again? Bad horror movies start off with the characters doing something stupid...and that's exactly how The Descent 2 begins.

I guess we'll have to wait and see what happens...although like the nerd I am, I read a 'leaked' script, and it wasn't so bad, it would have been better had they left it as it was.

What is This Fuckery???

Apparently they're making The Descent: Part 2

...WTF

How can there be a sequel the way that it ended was, ok um

*SPOILER ALERT*







Are we safe yet? No! Ok we'll continue

I think we're ok!


ANYWAYS, the way that it ended was PERFECT! It totally made the movie. It gift wrapped it, tied it with a bow and put it under the tree. The European version AKA the real version, shows Sarah, after having left Juno for dead, escape from the cave, and after having pulled over, sees Juno's ghost, only to wake up to find that she didn't escape after all. You hear the crawler's closing in on her and you know she's not going to make it out of the cave alive, so she hallucinates seeing her daughter with her birthday cake and it ends. IT ENDS!

I mean its an open ending because you don't see her die but that's the point, you're left with knowing that was she eaten and that emotional rollercoaster you went through, throughout the movie was all for nothing, all the women were done like dinner!


The movie was a perfect horror film. It had a solid story line, it used the dark as its main 'special effect', the characters weren't idiots, you were emotionally invested, and you were rooting for them to kick the sh*t out of those crawlers (I think they did a pretty good job, especially the last scene with Sarah and Juno, EPIC!), and everytime someone was killed you were sad and scared sh*tless! It was more of a drama than a horror film, and the ending! Just that hopelessness you feel for Sarah, after all that she's been through, after everything that she's lost, she's not getting out of this, its so unfair and so tragic, and it totally tears your world apart!

I just don't understand the point of a sequel (ok yea the money)...Of course I'm still going to go see it!

Sickest Movie EVER!

I know what happens, I know what happens, I know what happens!!!!!

You, of course, know how I feel about Watchmen!

For the record, from the trailer, the movie seems pretty true to the book. Although there will be no giant squid (boo!) which probably means Tales of the Black Freighter, will not be included (boo!) I enjoyed the Tales of the Black Freighter, it perfectly paralleled what was going on in the main story. The movie looks amazing nonetheless AND I'm not getting annoying vibes from movie 'Laurie' like I did, 'graphic novel Laurie' because DAMN that girl was annoying as fuck!

The Duchess

I love Keira Knightley! Love her! I think she's gorgeous, I think she's talented, I love her sense of style, and she seems to be the type of girl I'd totally be friends with but DAMN she's been looking like death incarnate, as of late!

Remember this Keira, with (albeit small) boobs, with thighs, with shape?




Now Keira's never been a fatty by any means. She's naturally thin (that bitch!), the type of thin that if she lost ten pounds then she's look like those kids in those commercials you see at 2am pleading for donations. But it seems that since her 'thunder thigh' days, Keira has lost ten pounds (possibly more) and as a result looks like she's at death's door.



Naturally everyone said homegirl's anorexic but she's been fighting those claims tooth and nail, her mom came to her defense, denying her daughter was anorexic; she even sued a British tabloid for printing her picture along side a story of a girl who died of the disease. So what is up with Keira Knightely?

She doesn't smoke, so there goes the coffee and cigarettes diet? I really don't see someone who has the disease (especially a celebrity) denying it all.the.frigging.time. AND if she did have the disease would her mother enable her publicly? Sharman McDonald is no Dina Lohan! I highly doubt that, maybe I'm being blinded by my fondess of her but I just refuse to believe that. But something is wrong with her.


Its quite apparent she isn't in perfect health. Her hair is thinning, her boobs have disappeared into a concave chest, her arms are sticks, the jaw has become razor sharp, her head has become enlarged by the shrinking of her body below it but by no means is she obliged to tell the world what's up with her health.

Whatever is ailing her, I hope she gets better. Maybe she just needs some vitimin D and a few carbs, I don't know but I wish her all the best.

Who watches the watcmen?

Remember this nerdy post?

Well I went ahead and bought 'Watchmen', a book complied of every issue of the series. I got the book last Wednesday and last night I finished it.

Yes, withing 7 days I've finished the entire series, and damn was it ever good.

Do you want to know how good it was? Well, I, someone who's not used to reading graphic novels, didn't really pay attention to the images but paid most of my attention to the dialouge, and if this were not a graphic novel, it would be an amazing piece of literature and would probably be more widely recognized...more so than it is now.

The most interesting of the masked avengers, were the most sinister: Roscarcsh, who was clearly a sociopath and The Comedian who, despite his actions, was a result of the dark times he was living in.

The female superheros, like most of the comic book world, were whiny, over sexualized and annoying. Although Silk Spectre II did serve an important function...a function that could have easily been filled by any female character, Moore, created but she severed it nonetheless.

Dr. Manhattan, was of course my favourite because he was hot and could walk through walls and build a compound on Mars with his mind alone. A man with looks and brains, who'da thunk it?

I'm kind of, madly in love with this book. It was relevant in the 80s and its relevant now, 'cept we don't have a team of crime fighting vigilantes with a supernatural being, so I guess we'll have to save the world all by our lonesome...


am sooooooooo excited for this movie!!!!!!!!

Sickest Movie Ever?

Justification:
-They already have a kick ass story; Allan Moore's 'The Watchmen' was an epic untouchable masterpiece

-They have a talented director in Zack Snyder. Ok so 300 was kind of cheesy and inaccurate but honestly, have you seen anything like it before. The visuals were effing brilliant! It was NUTZ!

-How relevant is this movie, right now?


So this could possibly be the SICKEST MOVIE EVER:




The world will look up and shout 'save us!' and I'll whisper 'no'.



This could possibly usurp, 'The Last of the Mohicans' as my all time favourite movie...and it isn't even out yet!

Lovelies

Love Sienna Miller. Love Keira Knightly. Love them together. Love what they're wearing. Love that they didn't show up in a baby doll dresses and Christian Louboutin peep toe pumps. I mean I love Christian Louboutin peep toe pumps, and I'd totally own a pair if I could afford them but they're SO over played, SO safe, and SO Lauren Conrad, ya know what I mean?

I also love how they don't give a fuck about what anybody thinks of them. They're so cool, so effortless, so glamorous. They both say what they want to say without a publicist censoring them, but what I love most about these two is how they're actresses not celebrities.

Oh and I am totally seeing Edge of Love, even if it weren't for these two; two words: Cillian. Murphy.

Summer Movies

The Epic:
The Chronicles of Narnia: Prince Caspian



The Action Movie:
Hellboy 2: The Golden Army



The Comedy:
Pineapple Express




The 'OMG Lee Pace is so effin hot' Movie:
The Fall



The Indie Film:
The Wackness



The Motion Picture Event of the Summer:
Dark Knight

Hockey Movies: Airborne (1993)

Cast:
Shane McDermott as Mitchell Goosen
Seth Green as Wiley
Brittany Powell as Nikki
Chris Conrad as Jack
Jack Black as Augie


IMDB says:

"Mitchell Goosen is sixteen/seventeen year old kid from California who loves to surf and roller blade. Yet, his parents, who are two zoologists were given a grant to work in Australia. The only problem was: Mitchell couldn't go with them. So, he gets sent to stay with his aunt, uncle, and cousin in Cincinnati, Ohio. When he arrives, he meets his cousin who is also his new roommate for the next six months: Wiley. Mitchell then goes to school and gets on the bad side the high school hockey players. Mitchell and Wiley end up enduring weeks of torture from the guys. Then, the big guys and Mitchell and Wiley have to learn to get along to try to beat the Central High School rivals in a competition down Devil's Backbone."


Ok so its not exactly a hockey movie, but there is hockey in the movie, and hockey players AND it has the oldest hockey story of all time: The poor kids vs. the rich bitches. Except in this movie, the boys take to the streets to battle AKA a lame Rollerblade race down devil's back bone that apparently runs the entire breadth of Cincinnati,who knew? Why is this a good hockey movie? Well not only does it combine two of the greatest sports ever (hockey and surfing) it features a young Jack Black AND Chris Conrad, I had the hugest crush on him for like a decade!



Weak Ponits:
-Dialogue
-Plot
-Plot Development
-Too much cheese
-Seth Green
-Seth Green's flat ironed hair
-Soundtrack
-The lack of hockey



Strong Points:
-Chris Conrad
-The Hispanic gangster dude being on the hockey team!
-The endless inside jokes I have, that have come from this movie
-Pepe the shark
-How ridiculous Mitchell is/was
-How ridiculous the clothes were at the time and omg I totally wore pants like that...anyways, heh

Would I recommend it?
This is the type of movie you watch on a Saturday afternoon, whilst still in your pajamas. Its fun its ridiculous! If you're looking for a movie that's mildly entertaining that doesn't require any brain cells to enjoy, well then this movie is for you!

PS I LOVE this movie...wow what does that say about me

Blasphemy

Lost boys 2? Lost boys TWO???? WTF!!!

Just because you don't have a job, Mr. Cory Feldman, doesn't mean that the memory of the movie that made me realize I was a girl (a al Jason Patric), should be pissed on. Fuck you, man! FUCK YOU!!!!


PS this is going straight to video, you do realize that right?

Are you fucking kidding me???

Here's the trailer for Mike Meyer's latest movie The Love Guru:



UMMMMMMMMMMMM


wow SO many things wrong with this movie, where to begin.

1) The Toronto Maple Leafs, my delinquent little brother and the Stanley Cup? I mean there are delusions and then there's down right lunacy, this definitely falls under the latter category.

2) You can't make fun of Les Canadiens....only English Canada gets to do that (and vice versa)

3)Mike Meyers stopped being funny right around 2001...its 2008, need I say more?

4) If Jessica Alba makes out with Mike Meyers, ugh I'm blowing chunks...you know I still get nightmares from him kissing Beyonce in Goldmember, EEESH!

5)The whole mini-me joke is old...real old! Like it stopped being funny 5 minutes into Austin Powers 2

6)How desperate is Mike Meyers, I mean, this is movie is the same girl different dress...actually, NOT EVEN, same girl, same dress but with lip gloss not lip stick!

7)OMG are those Justin Timberlake's pubes *drools* maybe I will see this movie - I MEAN EW GROSS, that's so gross...AHEM


8)Meghan Goode is faaaar too hot to be hockey wife...yea I went there! you know hockey players get shafted in everything, in comparison to other pro sports, so the quality of their wives is no different! I mean Tom Brady is dating Gisele Bundchen; Derek Jeter's boinked everyone from Jessica Biel to Jessica Alba; Tony Parker gets Eva Longoria...and what does the NHL get? Hilary Duff... hmmmm a Victoria Secert model or Disney Tween Queen, tough call!

9) LOVE how the featured NHL teams are L.A. and T.O. AKA two of the worst teams in the league

10)There is so much political incorrectness in this movie that I'm not even going to touch that!

I'll wait 3 years till it comes on CityTv then MAYBE I'll watch it.



PS do you think any players will make a cameo???? My money's on Rick Nash!