WHAT IS THIS FUCKERY????

Ok So I take back everything I said about the Dolly Rockers, despite the fact that their image was the work of some hard, reimagining skills on part of their handlers/record label( see:before). There's still some humour to their songs, there's some irony to their image. They're fun, they're hot, they've got a unique style, and their music is acutally pretty good, pop electronic, and they're all of legal age, yey!


Why the sudden change of heart?

Firstly, I thought I judged them too harshly at first, I loved their personalities, they seemed like a fun bunch of girls, I just wasn't down with the way they were marketed but that has all changed because I get it. I didn't at first but now I do! So now we're cool.

Secondly and most importantly, I was exposed to this nuclear waste of a song/video:



Ummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

Another Guirella style video except the Dolly Rockers did it better.

I mean, they acutally filmed the video in Wal-Mart? In McDonalds? That's so cheap. That's so tragic. This is so white trash I'm embarssed for them. I'm embarassed because they think its good, they thing they look good, they think that 'OMG LYKE THIS VIDEO IS WAI KEWL'.

How old are these girls by the way? Can't be more than 16 and yet they're wearing bras and an inch of cloth parading as a skirt, as outside clothes, ON THE STREET.

Where are their parents? Where are the responsible adults?

...oh my bad, when it comes to child stardom, there are no responsible adults only perverted, delusional, leeches.

I'm just left wondering, where will these girls be in 5 years? What will they have gone through? What kinds of relationships will they have with their parents, their peers, their significant others. What's wrong with wanting to become an accountant, or a travel journalist, or an ambassador, why are we telling young girls that they should become actors, singers, and models? Are girls and women only here for our entertainment?

Oh their name? The Lolitas.


I think that sums up everything, really.

PS Chris Hansen would like you to have a seat over there please.

WHAT IS THIS FUCKERY???

This is a girl band from the UK called the Dolly Rockers (that name), and I'm not sure how I feel about them.

At first I was like: wtf?

Then I was like: yea, they're alright

But now I'm like: Nu Uh!

They seem like a lovely bunch of girls with a kick ass, hot topic accessorized by Claire's, style, but there's a funk of manufacture going on here, and I ain't down with that smell.

I'm not all about hating manufactured bands (HELLO Spice Girls!) BUT it seems that some record execs, took a look at these girls and said 'hey we could defo market this band to young girls who aren't down with Miley Cyrus or Girls Aloud. Young girls who think ~*know one understands them*~ because *~they're lives are so like complicated and stuff*~'

Amirite?

Please, don't sit there and tell me this doesn't smell manufactured. Like I said I'm not against bands being put together, I'm against advertising a band as some sort of alternative to the mainstream pop princesses, because the same amount of planning, investing, and marketing are going in to each type of act. Why not be upfront about it?

Can we take Canada's own Avril Lavigne for example?

Everyone called her the anti-Britney because she played guitar and sang rock music and wore converse. Every girl who was sick of Britney and every wannabe that came after her ate Avril up. What happened when it slowly became apparent that 'hey she didn't write her own songs' and 'hey she's friends with that highly contagious bleeding from every orifice disease'? Well Avril's career is a bit of a stalemate right now. She doesn't grow with her fan base, they grow out of her. She'll forever write songs for 13 year olds. How sad, even Hilary Duff has graduated to 16-20 year olds.

Back to the Dolly Rockers. I think they're all hot. I love their hair, its big and fabulous. I think they're sassy and fun. Love the way they dress but why the guirella style videos? Why the marketing of the 'alternative'? Can't their management/record company just be straight with us and say 'YEA THEY'RE OUR PUPPETS'. Never hurt Britney or Miley, why should the Dollys be any different?

I Take Exception to this BS!

So Sports Illustrated has a hockey-celebirty look-a-like thing going on and some of them are bang on and some of them are waaaaaaaaaaaaay off. i.e. Look who they paired with Rick Nash:

Ummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm?

I mean, I suppose they're similar in that they are both of Anglo-Irish-Scottish decent, the both have the same chin (sort of), and they both have crazy hair but that's about it!!!!!!! How could they pair the hotness that is Rick Nash with...that?

Ugh, American publications, they'll never get hockey right.

What is this Fuckery?

Last night Blackhawks vs Canucks. Playoff preview, right? Oh God, I hope not:



What the fuck?

Hitting the goalie in the head like that! Giving a wedgies! Pulling of hair! Ripping off your opponents equipment AND his underarmour!

WHAT THE HELL BOYS?????

It was just complete pandemonium! There weren't enough refs! Every time they'd try to break up one fight, 2 others would start, not only that but when the refs were between them USUALLY they'd stop and skate off to their benches but not this brawl, they were still throwing punches while the refs were between them AND the refs had to escort them back to the bench to make sure another fight wouldn't start.

What kind of shit is this?

...and I'm talking to you Chicago! This is not how you answer your opponents when you're down 4-0, this is not how you constructively express your frustrations. How about some goals, boys? 'cause this is how its going to be in the playoffs, and the Canucks just showed you that they've got skill and fierceness, what do you have? a bunch of immature whiny bitches?

Sorry that just doesn't cut it in the NHL playoffs.

Don't worry we won't compare you to the Penguins, whom you very much parallel (both young teams, Crosby/Malkin & Towes/Kane) because, the Pens were disciplined, the Pens were a cohesive unit, the Pens had Gary Roberts, and you? Well it seems that your youth and inexperience got the best of you...but we're not comparing

Looks like Van City's got the edge in this match-up. I mean, on home ice, an all out brawl AND a penalty shot and not a single goal? I suppose its not as close as I thought it was going to be...Oh Chigaco

WHAT IS THIS FUCKERY???

WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS SHIT????????????

Nickelback covering Kings of Leon?????

Nickelback are fans of Kings of Leon?????

WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON?????????

What's probably the most scariest shit about this is that 'Use Somebody' totally fits with Nickelback, like their sound, their aesthetic, their 'schitck'...OH GOD, I'm going to hell aren't I? Oh fuck, I am totally going to hell!

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!

...

WHOA! wait a minute here, are Nickelback fans and Kings of Leon fans one and the same now? Is that why it was douche bag central back in November when I saw them in concert????


???????

I just-

I can't-

I' don't-

I-

I-

I-

SYSTEM OVERLOAD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
SYSTEM OVERLOAD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
SYSTEM OVERLOAD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
SYSTEM OVERLOAD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

must...re...boot.

Oh Boo!

Look what we have here, the trailer for The Descent 2. Isn't looking too good. Would they really bring with them a woman they believe to be bat shit crazy on a search and rescue mission, to look for women she supposedly abandoned/killed? Because what's stopping her from doing it again? Bad horror movies start off with the characters doing something stupid...and that's exactly how The Descent 2 begins.

I guess we'll have to wait and see what happens...although like the nerd I am, I read a 'leaked' script, and it wasn't so bad, it would have been better had they left it as it was.

What is This Fuckery???

Apparently they're making The Descent: Part 2

...WTF

How can there be a sequel the way that it ended was, ok um

*SPOILER ALERT*







Are we safe yet? No! Ok we'll continue

I think we're ok!


ANYWAYS, the way that it ended was PERFECT! It totally made the movie. It gift wrapped it, tied it with a bow and put it under the tree. The European version AKA the real version, shows Sarah, after having left Juno for dead, escape from the cave, and after having pulled over, sees Juno's ghost, only to wake up to find that she didn't escape after all. You hear the crawler's closing in on her and you know she's not going to make it out of the cave alive, so she hallucinates seeing her daughter with her birthday cake and it ends. IT ENDS!

I mean its an open ending because you don't see her die but that's the point, you're left with knowing that was she eaten and that emotional rollercoaster you went through, throughout the movie was all for nothing, all the women were done like dinner!


The movie was a perfect horror film. It had a solid story line, it used the dark as its main 'special effect', the characters weren't idiots, you were emotionally invested, and you were rooting for them to kick the sh*t out of those crawlers (I think they did a pretty good job, especially the last scene with Sarah and Juno, EPIC!), and everytime someone was killed you were sad and scared sh*tless! It was more of a drama than a horror film, and the ending! Just that hopelessness you feel for Sarah, after all that she's been through, after everything that she's lost, she's not getting out of this, its so unfair and so tragic, and it totally tears your world apart!

I just don't understand the point of a sequel (ok yea the money)...Of course I'm still going to go see it!

What is this fuckery?

Have y'all seen the starting line up for the NHL All Star Game? Well that shit is wack! Check it:

Eastern Conference
Sidney Crosby - SHOCKING
Evgeni Malkin - SHOCKING
Alex Kovalev - SAY WAAAAAAAAAAT?
Andrei Markov - Stacking votes were we, Montreal fans?
Mike Komisarek - Ok, homeboy is hot, but an all star he is not!
Carey Price - Lundqvist robbed again? WTF is going on????

First things first: How is THE best player in the league (Alexander Ovechkin) not on the starting line-up? HOW? I know that Crosby's the golden boy and all but srsly, Ovechkin is owing Crosby in everything! That shit ain't right!

Where's Dany Heatley with his pirate smile? The sens may suck but he's still a kick ass player, same thing goes for Alfie!

Where the fuck is Vinny Lecavalier? huh? What kind of bullshit is this? again Tampa may suck, but Vinny is one of the best players in the league!

And Lundviqust, robbed again! Boo! This is wack y'all

Western Conference
Patrick Kane - Homeboy's face annoys me but yea I'm down with this one
Johnathan Toews - Homeboy's face annoys me and has even less of a personality than Crosby but again I'm down
Ryan Getzlaf - srsly bitches? srsly? Baldy McBalding gets a spot on the starting line-up and my darling Rick Nash does not, WTF??????
Brian Campbell - Brain Campbell made the starting line-up and Jerome Iginla didn't...WTF is wrong with you people?
Scott Niedermeyer - y'all chose Old man Nidermeyer and left out Lidstrom??? where's yo' head at g?
Jean-Sebasien Giguere - This one makes sense

Let me get this straigt guis, Iginla is not in the starting line-up. Nash is not in the starting line-up. Thronton is not in the starting line-up...WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON HERE?????

Damn, you bitches sure did pick horrible starting lines.


PS U knoe I break out da street talk wen I'm loced, can't check a real g, SON!

What is this Fuckery?

Now I'm not against cover songs at.all. In fact there are some cover songs I rather enjoy almost as much as the original. I love Johnny Cash's 'Hurt'! Ben Folds' reimagination of 'Bitches ain't Shit' is genius and Nouvelle Vague's...everything, is amazing! But King of the Rodeo? Done via big band, jazzy, female vocals? Uhhh I don't think so!



They all seem to be having a bitchin' time all up in that video, SO happy! BUT this version is just not working. The sound is good, the vocals are good, the instrumentals are good its just...well maybe I am a little biased, since king of the rodeo is one of my favourite songs by one of my favourite bands BUT its just not working here.

Am I wrong?


PS here's the original: