Vivia La Liberation!!!!!!!

So the Detroit Red Wings did it!!!!!!!!!!



Very well deserved, non? We humans can once again breathe our smog filled air and oppress one another.

This was an unbelievable series! Detroit was going to win it, I could see it after game two...

Sorry I'm not one for blind faith(I'm from Toronto remember?); I read the signs and prepare for whatever will, most likely, happen. Isn't it crazy how much depth this team has? You could match ~*the Crosby line*~ against any line on this Detroit team and 8 out of 10 times they'll still own them!!!!

But you know what really sucks? Detroit is built up of the nicest, humblest guys in the NHL, so as an opponent you can't really hate on them. Its kind of like when the guy you're crushing on has a hot girlfriend perfect in every way, and try as you might you can't hate her because she's just so gosh darn nice, and you damn the fates for not making her a total bitch so it would give you good cause to hate her but then she offers to drive you home so you won't have to pay for a cab, and she listens the same music as you, and she makes really funny jokes...OK BACK TO HOCKEY!!!!!

I'm not THAT upset that Detroit won it, they deserved it...even if they're all old enough to be my dad or grandfather (I'm talking to you Chris Chelios!!!!!!!)

Peace out, hockey!

Our programming determined that the most efficient answer was to shut their motherboardfucking systems down

Ok so maybe The robots aren't going down without a fight...

but last night's game was OFF THE HOOK, non?

Marc-Andre Fleury was un-fucking-believable! He was the only reason The Pens stayed afloat during those ten billion overtimes (which I stayed up for). I reaaaallllllllyyyyyyy think that the pens caught a lucky break because honestly The Wings were tres dominant in those overtimes but hey we'll take it!

Robots under Skynet's control, especially the one with the 'A' on his jersey. Skynet calls him Gary Robots Roberts...what a scary ass motherf*cking robot!

I'm done with making predictions, my ~*spidey sense*~ is all wacked out! Will The Humans prevail or will Skynet win the Stanley Cup and unleash their unholy mechanical weapons upon us???

At this point I have no clue, whatever happens I'm down for the ride!!!!


GO, PENS GO!!!!!!!

The Humans Are Dead Human Liberation Is Upon Us

So apparently John Connor sent a robot from the future to prevent Skynet taking over the NHL and winning the Stanley Cup and I think that robot's name is Henrik Zetterberg. I mean what other logical explanation is there?



Malkin's head isn't where it should be? The Penguins are too inexperienced to win this? Marc-Andre Fleury cannot deliver when the going gets tough? The Penguins' coaching staff has no fucking clue how to navigate a Stanley Cup final? The Penguins don't want it as much as the Red Wings do? Mike Babcock is using his ~*Jedi mind tricks*~ to make the Penguins suck? The Detroit Red Wings are simply a better team than the Pittsburgh Penguins?????



NAH! John Connor totally sent a robot to defeat Skynet, that's the only plausible answer!

Let's be honest with ourselves, shall we? I've been living in Toronto my whole life, so I know there's no use keeping hope alive when there's no hope to be had; there's stupidity and there's reality and I'd rather be realistic! The Penguins are NOT going to win tonight, they are NOT going to win the Stanley Cup, its just not going to happen, OK?

Now that does not mean I'm going to all of a sudden jump on the Red Wings train(even if they are unbelievably good) . The Pens are my boys, they're my boys! I'm going down with my ship! Win or loose, I'm with them the whole step of the way!

Peace out Boys and...

VIVA LA LIBERATION (I guess...)

Skynet is Taking Over One NHL Franchise at a Time

My brother and I are throughly convinced that the super computer system Skynet (a la the Terminator movies) has indeed taken over the world. ALSO we are 100% convinced that the Stanley Cup Champs have already been decided and I personally believe, without any bias whatsoever, that the 2008 Stanley Cup Champions are: The Pittsburgh Penguins.

Let's think about this logically, shall we?

-Detroit has already won a Stanley Cup this decade
-Pittsburgh is gearing up to be the next Hockeytown, USA, and has yet to win a cup this century
-Detroit is old, they play boring ol' ~*skilled*~ hockey, with minimal fighting
-Pittsburgh is young they play with emotion, skill AND they merkk a few bitches along the way AKA they play the kind of hockey that makes Gary Bettman hard
-Detroit's captain, Niklas Lidstrom, is human, probably one of the nicest guys in the NHL
-AND Sidney Crosby is a fucking cyborg



Look into his eyes and tell me you think that's human. Watch any or all interviews of The Kid and tell me those answers, those reactions don't seem, rehearsed, programmed, even? How the fuck is he soooo good? How is he so fast?

I mean this answers everything: like why would a 20 year old, good looking, pro athlete want to live with Mario Lemieux and his brood of children, when he could be rooming with Staal and taking body shots from strippers? OR why can't homeboy dress...like AT.ALL. (robots have no sense of style...want proof, look at is RBK line, like srsly dude wtf)? OR why hasn't he gotten a decent hair cut? OR why when asked about his mother on mother's day, his best response was 'she's a typical hockey mom' OR why, when journalists' crack a joke or two, homeboy just.doesn't.get.it.

Sidney Crosby is a fucking cyborg. He's a terminator, He's the T-1000!!!!!!!




...usually I'm all for human liberation and whatnot but this time, this series, I'm on the machines' side!




PS so if Crosby is a terminator that means that Ovechkin is John Connor...makes SO much sense!

Wah, Wah ,Wah!!!!!!!!!

The Detroit Red Wings are currently 2-0, against the Pittsburgh Penguins and what's even more shocking is Crosby and the boys have yet to register a single goal against Detroit...WTF???

I'm quite disappointed in my boys, I knew this wasn't going to be an easy series BUT Detroit isn't even breaking a sweat; they're skating circles around the pens, they're shutting down Malkin, Hossa, AND even our Lord and Savior himself, Sidney Crosby.

WHAT IS GOING ON, PEOPLE????

Detroit has an answer for every single line, strategy, gimmick, and player, Pittsburgh has thrown at them, and Pittsburgh seems to be out to lunch. Even Gary Roberts tries to bait them out; tempting them to drop the gloves BUT if Roberts or any of the Pittsburgh coaching staff watched a single video of this Red Wings team then they would know that they don't play that kind of game and even if you play that game, they'll just leave you in the dust and score 5 times.


I really don't understand what the hell is going on, its like Pittsburgh is completely unresponsive to this Detroit team; two games, TWO GAMES without a single goal???? Bitch, please!!!

I've alluded to it in the past but if there's anything wrong with this Pittsburgh team, its the coaching staff. Why, in the last 8 minutes of the game, ISN'T Sidney Crosby on the ice???? Maybe you won't win but at least you could shake Osgood up, expose a weakness *cough*one timer from the blue line*cough* OR score a fucking goal!!!

AND

accusing people of diving/obstructing/embellishing is quite inconsequential when Detroit is currently MERKING YOUR ASSES AND SCHOOLING YOU IN THE GAME OF HOCKEY!!!!! You just end up sounding like sore losers: WAH, WAH, WAH !!!!!!!

Coach Therrien: He's [Chris Osgood] a good actor. He goes for players, and he's diving.

Maxime Talbot: He [Chris Osgood] did the same for Riberio (Dallas Stars). If he wants to do that, that's a shame; we're not playing soccer here.

Sidney Crosby: Yea...he [Chris Osgood] went down pretty easily.

orly????



SHUT THE FUCK UP AND PLAY SOME HOCKEY!!!!!!!!!!

Stop trying to take the heat off of your team because you know Detroit has been handing your asses on a platter, why don't you try and score, eh? Whining and complaining won't bring you the Stanley Cup...HONESTLY!!!!!!!!


...with that said I still love y'all and want y'all to win the game and I KNOW that next game @ Mellon Arena you'll take the win and why do I say that? because I believe in you (ooo so cheesy), GO PENS GO!!!!!!!


PS I think Detroit is an amazing team and I respect them as my team's opponent but I love the fact the Niklas Lidstrom took the high road when responding to the ~*Pen's accusations*~ and was almost understanding about the whole thing. Maybe other captains should take note. I'm just saying...

Hockey Happenings

Re: Crosby not touching the Prince of Wales trophy: Superstitions are completely irrational, darling

So I kind of predicted this show down of ~*pens vs red wings*~ after watching the first two games of each series. Dallas and Philly put up a good fight but the hockey gods had a different plan in store. This is a pretty exciting match up, non? The best team in the East playing the best team in the West; who will come out on top and finally put the question of 'which conference is better' to rest. CLEARLY I'm pulling for my boys, the pens; the way they've developed and the way they've become so good so fast...my god do they ever deserve it! Besides, Detroit needs to be knocked off that pedestal of theirs; best team in the NHL? We'll just see about that.

I know I've said before it would be boring if husband no. 6, Sidney Crosby, won the Stanley Cup but now that I've watched pretty much every series of this playoff season, and let the image of Crosby raising the Cup, marinate in my mind, I've decided that my darling Sidney Crosby winning the Stanley Cup, would be exciting...expected but exciting nonetheless. The pens are in it to win it, and I'm there for them 100%, GO PENS GO!!!!!!!!!!

****

Team Canada lost the gold medal game against Russia...and to be perfectly honest it wasn't that heartbreaking. OBVIOUSLY I was disappointed, I wanted Dany and Rick to bring home a gold medal BUT I'm kind of really biased towards Alexander Ovechkin and even if I found out he ate babies for breakfast I'd still love him, heh...

AND before you bitches blame my Ricky for losing the gold medal to Russia, think about this: the ENTIRE team blew a 4-2 lead; regardless of Nash's penalty in overtime, IF Canada was playing right and not actin' a fool, then chipping the puck over the glass wouldn't have made a difference! I mean, how many short handed goals did Canada score in this tournament and you fuckers want to blame Nash for losing this game? BITCH, PLEASE!

Round 3 of the Stanley Cup Playoffs Hath Begun

tsn.ca

Last night after 4 rounds of overtime, the Stars took the series from Joe and the boys and are now off to hockeytown, USA AKA Detroit, for the Western Conference Finals to take on the living hockey gods themselves, the Red Wings. I'm throughly impressed with the Stars' performance (methinks it has everything to do with Brad Richards teaching Brenden Morrow how to colour co-ordinate) and I think this series will be on fire. The numbers say Detroit is taking this one BUT I wouldn't be so sure about that; this one may be too close to call...

And then we have the Eastern Conference Finals, the exact match up I didn't want to happen; The battle of Pennsylvania: The Penguins vs. The Flyers; a heated rivalry that will only get dirty. Do you remember that last game between The Pens and The Flyers? You know, the one before the playoffs, the game that decided who would play who? Remeber how for the first period, literally every 2 minutes there was a scrum? Remember how The Flyers went after The Pens hard. With Psychos like Hartnell and Downie I'm actually kind of scared to watch this series!

See, hits and fighting are a part of hockey, we all know that but there's always a select few players who have some serious anger issues that like to project those feelings and emotions, not only, on to the opposing team but also, on to their best players i.e. Malkin and Crosby. We'll see what happens, I guess. Maybe Philly's coaching staff will be able to contain their loose canons and focus on their skilled players like Umberger (mmm hamburgers), Richards, Upshall, and Briere. If Philly keeps on playing the way they're playing, this will be one heck of a series!!!!!!!!

All is fair in love and war...and in the playoffs

Staal vs. Staal; even brothers, take no prisoners

I love Sidney Crosby and all but I LOVED it when Marc Staal merkked him in the face, I laughed SO hard.

PS My boys, the pens are leading the series 2-0, woot! F*ck you Sean Avery!!!

2 out of 3 ain't bad

Last night, Washington lost and it broke my heart. I knew it was going to happen but when the game went into over time there was that little glimmer of hope that 'hey maybe they can actually pull this thing off' but in the end Philly took the win...like I said they would, how sad :'(

Montreal did beat Boston on Monday, just like a predicted! It shouldn't have taken them 7 games but it did, why? well I have this theory that Montreal, likes to play this cat and mouse game with the other team, giving them a false sense of security, and when they finally think that actually have a chance at winning the cup (you know calling all their friends back home telling him to be prepared for the best block party in history) they just crush them! And that's exactly what they're going to do to Philly, because Montreal is a far superior team than they lead on...old battlefield trick, the element of surprise is the best strategy, don't you agree?


Joe and the boys did in fact dominate the flames last night, even with Old man Nolan showin' the young whipper snappers how its done, they lost, and it wasn't a good loss either...oh well now they can all play golf, shave off those ridiculous Mohawks, put their feet up, and Dion can go boink his girlfriend...for every dark cloud there is always a silver lining

2nd Round of The Playoffs

East:

Staal vs. Staal AKA Pittsburgh vs New York; you know if it weren't for Sean Avery, I'd kind of want New York to win. Why? Well M. Staal is my favourite Staal and I love New York, its so my town! And Pittsburgh is, well Pittsburgh is like Hamilton...its just not my kind of town...But at the same time, the pens are my boys, they're my boys, this is going to be hard :(

Montreal vs. Philly; UM Montreal is totally going to merkk Philly, I mean even if I weren't a Montreal fan and I was a flyers fan, I'd know this! There's just no way, NO WAY that philly is going to beat Montreal...

West:
Detroit vs. Colorado; Ok so this series is going to be the most amazing, exciting series, this season! Two highly skilled teams, two teams that want the cup more than anyone in the league...oh there will be blood, and I can't wait!

San Jose vs. Dallas; Since Joe and the boys got themselves this far, I'm hoping they take the series!

The Playoffs Thus Far

The Senators are OUT
The Devils are OUT
The Wild are OUT
The Ducks are OUT
The Predators are OUT

And Adriana kisses you goodbye:






Who's next? I'm hoping its Boston, 'cause I really don't know what's up with Montreal, they are a much better team than Boston, they could easily dominate them and yet...methinks they want to win in front of their fans and if they don't, oh there will be blood on the streets of Montreal tonight; its do or die my friends, do or DIE!!!!!!

What about Washington? I'd love for them to win, it'd be so figgin' mind blowing BUT if we're being realistic (which we are!) then I have an inkling that Philly is going to take this series, :'( BOO!

And in the West: Calgary is going to take the series, why? because I really can't see Joe and the boys going any further, can you?

Pube 'stache!!!!!!!!

Sidney's facial hair is a little bit thicker than it was last year, but still, he ain't no Rick Nash *sigh*

...I know, I know, I shouldn't compare husbands because it raises conflict in an already high volatile environment (1 wife, 7 husbands, it does get messy) but I can't help it, I love hair on a man it shows that he's a man, ya know? Sidney has another year or so to go before he becomes a man.

work it,baby, work it!

Dany came home this morning and he was pretty down; naturally he would be, they didn't win a single game in the series, I've tried to console him but he's been drinking beer all day and muttering something about Ray Emery and John Paddock, I don't know what that's all about but Rick and I have been keeping our distance. It must be hard knowing that you are a good team, a better team, and yet you couldn't get it together for a single win. One thing's for sure, I'm stocking up on two-bite brownies, and Häagen-Dazs for the next few months...oh Dany :'(


but SIDNEY CROSBY'S ONE STEP CLOSER TO LORD STANLEY'S CUP!!!!!!! I'd be totally stoked if he won, it would be boring and expected but I'd be stoked nonetheless!!!!!!!

Dion, ya dun good!

Elisha Cuthbert is hot again!!!!!!!!! but more importantly she's working again!!!!!!!!!!

Dion, Iggy, Old man Nolan and the rest of the mohawked Flames are currently merkking Joe and the boys; Elisha is once again smoking hot and working, I don't know about you but I think this is working out for the better...I APPROVE!!!!!!!!!

HOWEVER, its only a matter of time before that disease Paris Hilton, rears her highly contagious, bleeding from every orifice pathogen, at the NHL, oh you know its coming! Will our Lord and Savior, Sidney Crosby, be able to protect us from such indiscriminate evil??? I hope so guys I really hope so...

The End Is Near Here

Dany Heatley, reminds Sidney Crosby, of the husband hierarchy in my household...even when the Pens are totally merkking the Sens

I don't know if you've noticed but I've remained mum on the Ottawa/Pittsburgh series, for obvious reasons. Well tonight is game 4 and its 3-0, for Pittsburgh. Only twice in NHL history has a team come back from 3-0 losses to take the series, one of those teams being the Toronto Maple Leafs back when they were good, 10 million years ago.

But let's be realistic shall we?

Ottawa is not going to win tonight, it just isn't going to happen! Even though they are essentially the same team they were last year when they faced the Pens, who are essentially the same team they were last year (Marian Hossa, hasn't really made a dent, HONESTLY!), they are not going to win tonight, or come back from 3-0, to take the series, let's be honest with ourselves!

Would I like them to win? YES! Are they going to win? NO! The Pens have become too good and too powerful and the Sens have...I actually have no fucking clue what happened to the Sens.

Its ok Dany, we can get drunk, listen to emo music, cry, gorge ourselves on ice cream, and yell at the television when, husband no. 6, Sidney Crosby raises The Cup...

Waxin' Idiotic

So I was just thinking today about the different teams playing in the playoffs and who would probably loose the first round *cough* Boston *cough*, then I started thinking about all the superstars playing in the playoffs (ie Peter Forsberg), then I started thinking about who I'd like to make the Stanely Cup finals, the East vs West Game. Now clearly you would assume either Pittsburgh or Ottawa right? Because both teams I hold close to my heart, right? Actually I don't want either team to make the finals...I mean I'd totally be stoked if they did make it to game 7 of the Stanley Cup finals but I really, really, really, want Washington to make it!!!
Why? Two words: Alexander.Ovechkin.


I know, I know, I'm like the only Canadian that doesn't want Crosby to win the cup, and it kind contradicts all my sarcasm, and all my insane posts about how he's my fifth husband etc. etc. but admit it, if Crosby won the cup, it would be boring, expected; remember when he scored on Ryan Miller in the Winter Classic game, I was TOOOOOOOOTALLY stoked but after my 5 minutes of joy passed I was like "So Sidney Corosby scored again and won the game...oh..."

Its not shocking or exciting when Crosby does something great because: a)Of COURSE he could accomplish all these things, he's THAT good; and b)he's kind of boring, like no personality at all! He's all screaming and jumping up and down on the ice, hugging it out with his teammates but then when interviewed, he reverts back into robot mode...BORING!!!!!


Alexander Ovechkin is anything but boring. He's electric on the ice and electric off the ice. Ovechkin's more up to the task of being a superstar than Crosby is. Homeboy can hardily speak English and yet he gives the best pre/post-game interviews LIKE EVER! Plus Ovechkin is a one man team, he scores, he assists, he checks, he fights, he deeks, he heals the sick, and he brings back people from the dead. I know its the law that if you love Crosby then you HAVE to hate Ovechkin but srsly watch a Caps game, watch Ovechkin, have you seen anyone move like him, he's fucking amazing!!! This season, I repeat THIS SEASON, Ovechkin is ahead of Crosby by like miles.


I know, what some will probably say, that Pittsburgh is one of the top teams in the league and yea I totally agree, they're amazing BUT Washington made the playoffs because of one man: Ovechkin. The question is can he take them all they way? If they win the cup, it will be the ultimate Cinderella story!!!!

I think Crosby an amazing player and I admire his dedication and what he brings to the game but he just doesn't have that 'X' factor that Ovechkin has, ya know? And I just think it would be an awesome shake up if the 'Little Engine That Could' AKA Washington, went all the way, wouldn't that just totally blow your mind??????


PS He was Pierre McGuire's Monster Player of the Year! Sidney didn't even make the All-Monster team, I'm just saying...