Called It!

So its official! With Montreal winning last night and Ottawa losing, the Ottawa Senators have been eliminated from the Stanley Cup Playoffs...Z!NG!

I knew this was going to happen. You knew this was going to happen. The Sens themselves knew this was going to happen. We all knew this was going to happen. But still I'm angry, are you angry?

I'm angry because this is a one line team. I'm angry because many players on this team think that their shit don't stink(Spezza). I'm angry because the coaching wasn't there. I'm angry because the goaltending was rubbish. But most of all I'm angry because everyone in this organization knew that there were serious problems with this team and with the coaching staff but they did fuck all about it.

Why? Well we can only speculate but my speculation is that they're trying to keep together, more or less, the players and the system that got them to the Stanley Cup finals in 2007 except that its not 2007 and that system only got them to the finals it didn't bring them the Cup so maybe its time for change, a radical change!

...maybe in the off season, which starts in two weeks, how sad.

And The Oscar Goes To...

My boys. My penguins. My angels. I love them to no end but this video is the most painfully embarrassing shit ever conceived:



FAIL!!!!!!!!!!

I love how Colby Cheese is not convinced of his own 'superstar' status: "You know because of who I am(?????)"*shifty eyese*, but who are you Colby, who are you...which of course brings us to Maxim Talbot. Maxim Talbot is probably the hardest to watch, I mean the whole McLovin joke was hilarious but his 'Ode to McLovin' reminds of high school assemblies, when our guidance counselors tried to relate to us and they'd say something like:
"yo what is up DAWG? how is it going? what is the 411, G? I will keep it on the down low! I can get jiggy with it! who let the dogs out? raise the roof homie, word to your mother!"
Our response: *crickets*
I'm soooooooo embarassed for them! The only one left with a shred of dignity is Malkin and that's because he doesn't say anything.

These are the times when I really regret me and Jordan Staal not being bff, we'd rip on these guys hard!!!!!!!!! and then chug some beer, woot! I hope husband no. 5 is laughing (with his girly laugh) his ass off over this. I know I'd never let them live it down...EVER!

Should all acquaintance be forgot and never brought to mind

Dear 2007,

Its safe to say you've been the worst year of my life. In the grand scheme of things nothing terribly bad happened but in relation to the other years in my life you are by far the worst. Never have I ever felt so lonely, so unloved, so abandoned, so lost! The blame does not fall completely on to you, I do share some of the responsibility of this year sucking so much but I am glad you're over and done with! By the stroke of midnight you will just be a bad memory!

New beginnings start tonight, I'm actually going to get drunk with a good friend in a *gasp* pub, then go nuts on the streets of Toronto. 2008 is looking up indeed and although January 1st will be spent in my pajamas watching the Winter Classic with a hangover its a whole lot better than how I spent January 1st 2007 (and then subsequent months) ugh.

I'm so done with you 2007! And on your way out can you please go fuck yourself, thanks! Love ya!

Nicole
xoxo

D-NIED!!!

It's no secret that I loathe Sean Avery, I've talked about this on several occasions most notably when he allegedly made comments about Jason Blake's cancer. No one knows for sure what he said, all we do know is that it was bad, real bad...but of course it was bad this is King Douche we're talking about, ugh I wonder how many date rapes he has under his belt...

I can't even like Elisha Cuthbert now, because, not only does she put up with that disease infested waste of space heiress skank but she boinked Avery for over two years! She must have gotten a lobotomy after her stint on Popular Mechanics For Kids or something, that's the only logicial explanation I can come up with. ANYWAYS my good, and ever reliable friend, karma, decided to step in and knock King Douche off his johnny-on-the-spot throne (if only for a night) NY DAILY NEWS:

"The New York Rangers celebrated their 5-2 victory over the Ottawa Senators Saturday night at Bungalow 8, where injured forward Sean Avery showed up with a sling on one hand and black nail polish on the other. The Blueshirts had originally hit up Buddha Bar but were denied entrance. "F- this place! We're never coming here again!" screamed the Rangers' flack when the bouncer said he didn't know or care who the hometown heroes were. Guess he's an Isles fan!"

...

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

...

OMG! if my boyfriend, Marc [Staal] was with them and he was denied...oh, me and that bouncer WILL have words!

ANYWAYS, back to my main point, King Douche got D-NIED!!!!!!!!!! Who are these people that work at Buddha Bar???? I have to send them some kind of award, or cupcakes at the very least because, HAAAAAAAAAAA!!! You're just some douche from pickering Avery, NEVER forget that because apparently the bouncers in New York haven't!



PS how is he one of peoples 50 hottest guys? who's in charge of that shit? Avery's mom? (who by the way is a very nice lady, how she raised such a douche is beyond me, Mrs. Avery, I'll send you flowers on mother's day!!!!)


PPS Marc I'm kind of in love with you! (don't tell Sidney...or Jordo!)


PPPS VESA TOSKALA IS NHLPA'S PLAYER OF THE DAY, visit the site and drool over his deer in the headlights photo and dream up all the shopping sprees you can with his compensation. I've never been to Finland, Vesa just, must take me this summer! Oh how I love being Poylandric!

Ray Emery <3's Sean Avery

...ok not really, watch this video!

Love it when asked if they were friends off the ice Emery gives a condescending look and Avery does that whole act that guys do when in the presence of another guy whom they know is cooler than them. CLEARLY Tim Deegan does not watch hockey or else he would have never asked that question, even dudes on his own team hate him!!!!



Sean "La Douche" Avery : "yea we're like totally friends, right Ray? He's on speed dial you know! I call him like every day! Right Ray? He never picks up but I like always leave messages! He never calls back but he's like really busy because he's the goalie of the best team in the league and he has lots to do, right Ray? One time we were at this charity golf game, OH MY GOD, get this, when he passed by me on his golf cart I like totally waved at him, remember that Ray? Remember how I waved? I know, good times, good times! I love your shoes Ray where'd you get them? I want to buy the exact same pair, and we can be like twins or something, like the Staal brothers but cooler, even though none of them are twins but you know what I mean! Right Ray? So if you ever want to hang out some time just you know call me back, do you have my number? I'll give it to you, and whenever you come to New York to play the Rangers you can come stay with me, don't worry I'll sleep on the couch you can have my bed. Ok Ray? You're my best friend right, Ray? Ray? I love you! RAY?"

Ray "Big Pimp" Emery: Sorry Sean gotta go, Elisha's waiting up for me. You know she said the weirdest thing to me the other day when we were lying in my bed naked, she said that I was the only real man she's ever been with. Anyways she was telling me what a good lay I was and how I do crazy shit like listen to her and pick her up from the airport. She also told me that she appreciates how I don't tell her that she needs to go on a diet and should spend more time at the gym, I don't know where she got an idea like that from because man, girl is HOT! Oh she also loves how I don't cry after sex, calling for my mommy, seriously where does she get this from? Hey didn't you two to go out at some point? Anyways, I gotta bounce! Good luck with that clothes rack troll of yours oh and uh go fuck yourself Avery!"


Emery's totally full of himself but I still love him and yea I'd hit it!

His Royal Highness King Douche Bag

My boys the sens beat mes amis the Canadiens, 3-1, both teams close to my heart so for me it was a win/win situation. For a while there it looked like mes amis were going to win this one but my boys brought it late in the 3rd period and captured the win. Even though the score was 3-1 it was acutally a pretty close game, very face paced, and very entertaining! Despite the fact that both teams hold a special place in my cold black heart, I was kind of leaning towards mes amis but like I said I'm happy either way.

Sooo...

Last night the bitches in blue played the New York Rangers, and I was sorta, kinda hoping that the bitches would kick some Ranger ass...there I said it!

YES I wanted the bitches to win! why?

Well first of all I don't hate the leafs, I love them like you'd love a delinquent little brother: they're annoying; you always fight; they steal your money and never return it; they're always breaking promises; they're failing; they make your dad drink more beer; they make your mother cry but at the end of the day you still love them and would still let them live in your basement when they're single, 35, and jobless.

I do love the leafs and on occasion will hope that they capture a win or two (depending on the team they're playing) and last night was one of those occasions, why? Two words: Sean. Avery.

Sean, Sean, Sean, Sean! The poster child for hockey douche baggerey and the king of misogynistic, idiotic, classless, frat boy mentality. Look up douche bag in the dictionary I guarantee Sean Avery is the definition. Not even the presence of a Staal brother could change the way I look at the Rangers; Avery taints every team he touches, and thus the rangers are blacklisted, until king douche gets traded or suffers a career ending injury.

Sorry Marc, I'm taking a moral stance on this one! PS quit hitting on Crosby, that bitch is mine!

Rangers? uh NO!

So as per usual Avery starts shit, during warm up. Tucker gets all loco and unleashed his crazy eyes on king douche! This of course gets carried on into the game, etc. etc. If you've ever watch Avery play you know how it goes down

Yea Tucker! Fuck him up!

Unfortunately the Rangers ended up winning in shoot outs, which really broke my heart because I really wanted Avery to get merkked one way or another AND for once I agreed with Don Cherry, why didn't they suit up Belak when they knew Avery was playing? I know you shouldn't play into that sort of strategy because I'm sure no one acquires a player like Avery because he's super talented (even though he is sort of good, ew I can't believe I just said that) but you know Belak would have murdered Avery, and that punk ass bitch would be off his game all night because of it.


Sorry my hatred for king douche runs deep, for obvious reasons, but the main one being I'm like 100% convinced the shit he says to players has got to be really bad because if you're playing someone like Avery you know he's there to talk trash; and knowing that you'd try to rise above it, play, and not let him get into your head, so I doubt someone's going to loose their shit over "hey Tucker, my mom plays better than you!", you know what I mean?

Whoa...Wait...What???

So last night my boys, the Sens lost to the Washington Ovechkins.


The score? 4-1! Yea I know... I KNOW!!!!

You know this David and Goliath story gives hope to the bitches in blue!

Don't worry balance will soon be restored in the Eastern Conference with McCabe and Tucker (who were totally have keggers this entire time) set to play next game. And when I say balance will be restored I mean Tucker and McCabe will once again be USELESS

...go back to your kegger boys and while your at it grow a mullet and a Fu Manchu mustache because I'm pretty sure that's what you were born to do!

Z!NG!!!!!!!!!