Bow Down To Beauty And Perfection Bitches

How hot is this video? No, I'm waaaay serious guys! This video just exudes sensuality and passion and beauty AKA Girls Aloud. They all look so hot, especially Nadine and Kimberley (naturally Cheryl's a goddess but that goes without saying, you should know that by now!)

My New Theme Song

Love how he references all the girls and their albums. This is amazing. Cheryl is amazing. Watch plzzzzzzzz.

GIRLS ALOUD HAVE WON A BRIT AWARD

for best British Single no less. Loved their performance, Nicola owned that shit! But I think its time for Nadine to die her hair back to brown, the blonde is just washing her out. Anyways, have a drink tonight in honour of Girls Aloud, the haters and nay-sayers can stuff it!



OH some other people won too but we won't mention any names because SOMEONE took that homewrecking model to the Grammys and NOT me, after I got my hair did and er'thing. So we won't waste any more time on them. I think its time to give those lawyers a call. Waldouck, looks like you'll be joining the cult soon enough!

Say, What?????

Cheryl Cole and Kimberley Walsh are going to climb Mount Kilimanjaro...

WTF????

Ok, fine its for a good cause AND its being video taped, so that guarantees hilarity but AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Kimberley: We're not festival girls

Ya, don't say?

I'm not making fun and its really great of them to partake in something like this but Chimm without their flat irons, make-up, camping and trekking through the African Wilderness??? They couldn't even hack it in Athens, oh I can't wait!

Good luck, girls!

Are we there yet?

I feel for them, really, I do. They're not being 'divas' or 'brats'. They're feelings and reactions are totally justifiable and understandable, you know why? Because I've been dragged on adventures such as this by my mother! So I know exactly how it feels to be ill prepared in terms of footwear AND having absolutely no desire to trek 2 hours in the wilderness just to look at a really big rock

Take this for example: We're in some small town in Southern Ontario (2hrs from Toronto), we were staying in a mom-and-pop hotel because that's all there was in this town. So we go for a Timmy's run (No matter where you go in Canada there's always a Tim Hortons). We get our coffee, timbits, ready to head back to mom and pop to make a bonfire. EXCEPT my brother and myself notice that mum is taking a detour, we give each other that look, that look that says 'oh fuck, now what?'. Immediately I'm like 'MOTHER WHERE ARE YOU TAKING US', and in classic, my mum, fashion she just waves me off and says we're only taking a short 'detour'.

ORLY?

Finally we stop behind this hydro facility, that situated on the edge of a forest. She tells us she wants to show us something. (OMG if this was anyone other than my mother I'd get the fuck out, it sounds like we are going to be murdered). She leads us into this forest and I'm protesting because I'm in friggin $9 filp flops from old navy, I can't go trekking through the forest, I'll break my ankles! My mother ignores me and continues on, my brother follows whilst complaining and me not wanting to be left alone in a forest, on the edge of a town that I don't know, I follow too.

So I had to go up hill, down hill, over rocks, over roots, over fallen trees in my filp flops just so my mother could show us a waterfall...a very unimpressive waterfall. All that suffering, all that risk, all that time my coffee getting cold for a polluted, unimpressive waterfall. Like Cheryl says, 'who cares'.

No I am not being an asshole because my mother is notorious for taking us on such adventures and not telling us. I wouldn't have minded the hike, if we were told in advance, so I could have worn proper footware and bought our Timmys AFTER the hike.

But back to the video!

I love how Cheryl is not having any of it: 'its just buildings', I feel your pain. And when the cab driver says he'll take all of them Nicola's like 'does he think that people's going to get in the boot' and then later when Nadine sticks her head out the window, Nicola's like 'what if your head gets chopped off' and Nadines like 'yea imagine if I came in I was just a neck' OMG I died!

I love these girls!

Besties!!!!

This post is dedicated to Sarah Harding and Nicola Roberts!

Lipstick Lesbians!!!!

...or so I wish!!! Here's Chim and the Brit Award nominations yesterday. Big hair, tacky outfits, that's what girl bands are all about! Would you want them any other way? They do, however, they look lovely, and I'd approve of Cheryl's outfit if her shirt were longer! But are those ZEBRA PRINT LOUBOUTINS??? I WANT! I WANT! I WANT!

2009 Brit Nomintaions: Girls and Kings

Girls Aloud have been nominated for Best British Group and Best British Single, but to be honest I don't know if they'll win, 'cause they've got some serious competition! I mean Radiohead >>>>> E'erybody, but I'll be rooting for you, Girls!



Oh and Only By The Night was also nominated for Best International Album and The Kings were also nominated for Best International Group. Sorry boys but to be honest both awards are going to MGMT, and that's my unbiased opinon! Oracular Spectacular was a better album, it was fresh, it was new, it was original, and Only By The Night? Well we've seen better from you boys, you know that we know that, so let's just move on shall we? The truth, it hurts...OH SNAP!

Girls Aloud Make Us Proud

Girls Aloud made history today by achieving their 20th top ten single with 'The Loving Kind'! Woot, especially since the Pet Shop Boys wrote this song 'specailly for them.

They deserve this, non? They've worked so hard and are so very talented, so I don't understand the hate. They've never claimed to be artists, they're performers entertainers, they haven't claimed to be the best band ever. Their music is fun, catchy, and fabulous, not everyone has to be Bob Dylan...acutally not everyone can be. So why can't we have our cake and eat it too?

Bands that are fans of the Girls: Arctic Monkeys, Coldplay, Oasis, Kaiser Chiefs...if the Gallagher brothers can openly admit to liking the Girls why can't you?

Biology

Is it bad I love this song? Its so sassy, like shake, and pose, and whip your hair around and wink over your shoulder...so basically the video:



Damn, they're all so hot, with their come hither looks. Stop teasing me GA, stop that right now!

Oh.Okay.

I love me some Cheryl Cole but referring to Girls Aloud as Cheryl and Co. is offensive. She's not even the best singer, that title belongs to Nadine! UGH what is that all about? Just SO OFFENSIVE!!! Anyways on to the hotness!

Indeed!

Well hello there Kimba! Girlfriend, is lookin good!

Oh...Nadine is a beautiful girl but sometimes she has a tendency to look like a chimpmunk...this is one of those times. WHATEVER! She's tall, talented, rich and beautiful, that's more than you'll ever be, so don't hate!

I don't think I'll ever get over how sassy Nicola is. She's got such a sweet face but then she starts singing and sticking her finger up in the air, givin' us attitude, DAMN GIRL!

Sarah, darling, can we talk? Ok stop with the raccoon eyes. Stop with the partying. Get some sleep and eat a healthy diet of bangers and mash, kthxbye!

Oh you know you want her, stop foolin yourselves!

Cheryl En Vogue

So we can hate ourselves about how ugly and fat we are in comparison.


GORGEOUS!

The beautiful goddess Cheryl Cole graces a Vogue cover

The cover's not the best. Cheryl is easily the most beautiful woman in the world but I don't know if its the lighting or the make-up or the angle but she's looked better...like this photo inside the magazine:

DAMN, GIRL!

Let's forget that she's wearing squinted pants (you probably enjoy picturing her pantless, PERVS!) and let's focus on the fact that she's as beautiful as an angel. GORGEOUS! Why is such beauty being wasted on a douche such as Ashley Cole? BOO!

Cheryl Cole needs better friends! I'll be your friend! Pick me! Pick me!

Happy New Year!!!!!!!!!

Happy New Year from me and the beautiful goddesses that are Girls Aloud!!!!!! We hope that 2009 is good...and stuff. Peace y'all!!!!!!!


Love,
Nicole
xoxo

Joyeux Noël!!!!

For those of you who celebrate it, I want to wish you a very Merry Christmas. Where ever you are I hope you are happy, safe, getting lots of presents, and getting fat! From mine to yours, keep well, and Happy Christmas. Peace on Earth y'all!!!!


Love,
Nicole
xoxo

The beautiful angel that is Cheryl Cole also wishes you a Merry Christmas!

Fierce Bitches of 2008

10)Alisa 'soon to be' Followill
For bagging the prettiest man alive. For taming one of the most notorious of rockstars. I'd love to hate her but she's so god damned hot and and so god damned cool that I actually just want her to be my friend. I've seen her in person before, she is fucking gorgeous!!! She passed by my sister and a string from her shirt got caught in my sister's jacket. I froze. She turned around to set it free and she smiled at her. Why couldn't you smile at me Alisa?


9)Grace Park
For being on Battlestar Galactica. For being hot. For being Canadian and for not forgetting how awesome Canadian television can be if we just give it a chance (love her on 'The Boarder'!).


8)Emma Watson
For being young, rich, and fabulous. For not being a slut. For being invited to stand beside Karl Lagerfeld. For being friends with Bee Schafer and most importantly for being smart and going to uni; Emma knows Hollywood will just have to wait, last time an actress put work on hold for university she turned into the Oscar nominated actress that is Natalie Portman, a Harvard degree and an Oscar nomination all before the age of 30??? Who says you have to be Lindsay Lohan?


7)Summer Glau
For protecting humanity's savior, John Conner. For being a dangerous weapon. For being a prima ballerina turned ass kicker. So beautiful. So dangerous AND cute as a button!


6)Leighton Meester/Blair Waldorf & Blake Lively/Serena Vanderwoodsen
For being the girls that everyone wants to be. For being the new Betty and Veronica. For being the ying and yang of the upper east side. For being two of the most beautiful and most grounded girls in Hollywood today. Maybe someone, who's name rhymes with Fenae Chimes, should take note.


5)Kelly Brook
For being hot. For kicking BZ to the curb. For being 28 and bagging one of the hottest 21 year olds in the UK. Can you believe Kelly Brook is 7 years older and Abby Clancy? 7 YEARS???? AC looks at least 35, at least...


4)Girls Aloud
What can I say, I love them girls. Out of Control is their best album to date! You have everything you could ever want out of a girl group. You've got the Barbie glamazons in Nadine and Kimberley; the sultry redhead in Nicola; the edgy blonde in Sarah and the most beautiful woman in the world in Cheryl. For being sexy, fabulous and in control. They might be goddesses but they're still real women: Nadine's got cellulite, Nicola's got acne, Sarah's a drunken mess on most nights, Kimberly's got wide hips and Cheryl's husband cheated on her (idiot!) despite all of that they're still a million times hotter than we'll ever be...yes, we're aloud to be jealous (HA see what I did there!)



3)Michelle Obama
For being intelligent. For being a successful woman. For being a graduate of both Princeton and Harvard Law. For being fabulous. For being defined on her own terms instead of so-and-so's wife. She's the kind of woman that girls should be looking up to NOT Miley Cyrus!


2)Elizabeth May
For leading the most aggressive campaign the Green Party as ever lead. For calling out the lackluster leaders of Canada's 4 major political parties on all the shit they've pulled. For not taking no for an answer. The Green Party may have not won any seats BUT at least more Canadians know that the Green Party is not the Marijuana party. Plus you know home girl's here to stay, get it girl!


1)Tina Fey
For being a nerd. For being intelligent. For being talented. For being funny. For 30 Rock and yes for Sarah Palin! She's finally getting the recognition she deserves! You don't have to be slutty to be famous, you can be smart, you can be funny, Tina Fey proves that!

Songs of 2008: Slow on the up Take

I just did the best tracks of 2008, now I'm doing 'songs of 2008', which are songs that I've fallen in love with, in 2008 but were released prior to this year.

Call The Shots - Girls Aloud

10)Call the Shots by Girls Aloud
This song is an amazing dance pop song! And my all time favourite GA song. Its a genuinely good song, well sung, well produced, overall a quality song! Plus I kind of have to love the theme about someone whom you just don't care about trying to win you back: sorry you miss me, and think you have this hold on me but you don't!



9)Bones by Editors
Tom Smith's voice is unlike any other and the guitars are reminiscent of the new wave of the 80s. This song is an emotional and auditory trip plus the heart wrenching lyrics don't hurt either: your face in my hands is everything that I need. Almost as beautiful as true love way's: and I'm still crazy when I see your face, ALMOST!

Atmosphere - Joy Division

8)Atmosphere by Joy Divison
Hauntingly beautiful and tragic, which pretty much sums up Joy Division's sound. But this song is disturbing, in that, you can't get it out of your mind, it just won't leave you but you don't want it to because its so beautiful. (borrowing from True Blood here) Like a sunset after a bomb went off, terribly beautiful

Song 4 Mutya (Out Of Control) - Groove Armada


7)Song 4 Mutya by Groove Armada
Another bitchy song, what's with me? Not only is this song givin' it to an ex it actually quite fun! Mutya has such a strong voice, I love it, too bad she couldn't make it with Sugababes.





6)The Test by The Chemical Brothers
This song makes me want to do acid. Richard Ashcroft, is of course, untouchable but this song is just epic, its like taking you everywhere you've ever want to be without ever having to take one step...in short like an acid trip. What are the chemical brothers aiming at here? hmmmmm

49% - Royksopp

5)49 Percent by Royksopp
I really need to stop with these bitchy bitter songs...but I can't they're just so good! I love the imagery of this song: We were having difficult times and you were conniving, you cheated on me, and its over, BITCH! This song is a combination of electro, trance, soul, and r&b, and it works, it works very well!



4)Saw Something by Dave Gahan
Sensual. Sad. UGH this song is so beautiful, and so sad. Like he's more upset over losing a friend than losing a lover. Like their friendship meant more to him than the sex. That love > fucking. How can you not love this song, and why aren't there more men like this?

A Bad Dream - Keane

3)Bad Dream by Keane
I largely ignored this album because I OD'd on Keane with 'Hopes and Fears' I saw them 3 times over the course of a year and met them once. It was bit over kill and I needed a break from Keane...which I now regret because this song is AMAZING! and as cheesy as it sound, it really resonated with the way I've been feeling for the past year: You left me to fight on my own. I don't want to fight anymore. I don't want you anymore. Maybe in time we can be friends.



2)The Lake by Muscles
His vocals are so bizzare and the song is so trance but somehow it works. And the climax is EPIC!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I can't stop listening to this song! Its so fucking good!



1)Kingdom by Dave Gahan
I have no words to describe this song. Its fucking untouchable! I can't, I just can't...