Well Played

Kelly Brook is a woman who knows what's she's doing. After their break-up, Danny Cipriani was pissed drunk and banging our mascot Lindsay Lohan in LA, and Kelly was looking hot and happily promoting Piranha 3D all over the globe. She knows what's up.

And in another fantastic move, Kelly has moved on to another rugby player (well I guess he's an ex-rugby player now) Thom Evans, who even though was forced into retirement due to injury, still has more respect from the game than Cipriani does. AND Evans and Cipriani used to be teammates. Game-Set-Match. Kelly is good!


Personally Thom doesn't do anything for me, he used to be in a boy band, I just- I can't- but objectively he's hot, and an upgrade from Cipriani!

What concerns me though is the degrees of separation going on, I'll explain:
-Kelly is dating Thom who is good friends with James Haskell (why?)
-Kelly is also good friends with Chardonnay who's dating Carnie,
-Carnie is teammates with Tommy Bowe.

What I'm getting at here is that socially Carnie and Tommy Bowe are 4 and 5 degrees away from James Haskell, respectively...


Like if they were at a party, what would they talk about? Would they get along? Would they become facebook friends? Would they mean girl Tom Croft because he's kind of a noob? James Haskell, I can see your evil plan from here!

The conspiracy continues...

Kelly Brook and Her Man-Slave Pose For Some Pictures

Please!

These are not unplanned, they are totally staged! How do I know? Well, how did the photographers get so close? Why is the quality so good? How come there isn't an unflattering photo in the lot? Why is every shot the cover of a Harlequin romance novel? I repeat: these are not candids! These shots were paid for!


Not that I'm hating or judging. I'm not a celebrity, let alone a UK celebrity where they have wire taps on your phone and 24/hr surveillance on your house...hey maybe the CIA should hire the British paparazzi, they'd find Osama Bin Ladin in an hour!


Back to my point: There have been rumours that Kelly and her man slave had broken up, what better way to put those rumours to bed and earn a little extra cash at the same time then have staged candids with Kelly and her hot boyfriend 'frolicking' in the Caribbean, looking hot, in love, and coping a feel?

Crack that whip, girlfriend!


I suppose this is a pretty good consolation prize to being kicked out of the Heineken Cup race, right Danny?


Although I can't imagine what they talk about. Does Danny even know how to read? Can he even formulate sentences? I'm not saying ALL rugby players are cavemen, I'm just saying Danny Cipriani doesn't seem like the brightest crayon on the box. He always has an empty look on his face, like the lights are on but no ones home. Am I wrong?

Whatever, I'm sure the sex is earth shattering.

Kelly Brook and Her Man-Slave are Hot in the Caribbean for 2009

What a treat, eh? There's too much hot in this picture, I'm not sure I can take it! They really do make a good couple. Maybe her hotness will bring the WASPS some good luck (or at the very least distract the opposing team). However, to be perfectly honest my boyfriend, Dominic Waldouck's bod is way tighter than his Bff, Danny's, I mean what the hell happened to his thighs, they're all shinny and shit, WTF??? Rugby players are supposed to have tree stumps for legs, what is this foolishness??? Get on that treadmill boy and start winnin' us some matches!

...and Kelly you continue being hot.

Fierce Bitches of 2008

10)Alisa 'soon to be' Followill
For bagging the prettiest man alive. For taming one of the most notorious of rockstars. I'd love to hate her but she's so god damned hot and and so god damned cool that I actually just want her to be my friend. I've seen her in person before, she is fucking gorgeous!!! She passed by my sister and a string from her shirt got caught in my sister's jacket. I froze. She turned around to set it free and she smiled at her. Why couldn't you smile at me Alisa?


9)Grace Park
For being on Battlestar Galactica. For being hot. For being Canadian and for not forgetting how awesome Canadian television can be if we just give it a chance (love her on 'The Boarder'!).


8)Emma Watson
For being young, rich, and fabulous. For not being a slut. For being invited to stand beside Karl Lagerfeld. For being friends with Bee Schafer and most importantly for being smart and going to uni; Emma knows Hollywood will just have to wait, last time an actress put work on hold for university she turned into the Oscar nominated actress that is Natalie Portman, a Harvard degree and an Oscar nomination all before the age of 30??? Who says you have to be Lindsay Lohan?


7)Summer Glau
For protecting humanity's savior, John Conner. For being a dangerous weapon. For being a prima ballerina turned ass kicker. So beautiful. So dangerous AND cute as a button!


6)Leighton Meester/Blair Waldorf & Blake Lively/Serena Vanderwoodsen
For being the girls that everyone wants to be. For being the new Betty and Veronica. For being the ying and yang of the upper east side. For being two of the most beautiful and most grounded girls in Hollywood today. Maybe someone, who's name rhymes with Fenae Chimes, should take note.


5)Kelly Brook
For being hot. For kicking BZ to the curb. For being 28 and bagging one of the hottest 21 year olds in the UK. Can you believe Kelly Brook is 7 years older and Abby Clancy? 7 YEARS???? AC looks at least 35, at least...


4)Girls Aloud
What can I say, I love them girls. Out of Control is their best album to date! You have everything you could ever want out of a girl group. You've got the Barbie glamazons in Nadine and Kimberley; the sultry redhead in Nicola; the edgy blonde in Sarah and the most beautiful woman in the world in Cheryl. For being sexy, fabulous and in control. They might be goddesses but they're still real women: Nadine's got cellulite, Nicola's got acne, Sarah's a drunken mess on most nights, Kimberly's got wide hips and Cheryl's husband cheated on her (idiot!) despite all of that they're still a million times hotter than we'll ever be...yes, we're aloud to be jealous (HA see what I did there!)



3)Michelle Obama
For being intelligent. For being a successful woman. For being a graduate of both Princeton and Harvard Law. For being fabulous. For being defined on her own terms instead of so-and-so's wife. She's the kind of woman that girls should be looking up to NOT Miley Cyrus!


2)Elizabeth May
For leading the most aggressive campaign the Green Party as ever lead. For calling out the lackluster leaders of Canada's 4 major political parties on all the shit they've pulled. For not taking no for an answer. The Green Party may have not won any seats BUT at least more Canadians know that the Green Party is not the Marijuana party. Plus you know home girl's here to stay, get it girl!


1)Tina Fey
For being a nerd. For being intelligent. For being talented. For being funny. For 30 Rock and yes for Sarah Palin! She's finally getting the recognition she deserves! You don't have to be slutty to be famous, you can be smart, you can be funny, Tina Fey proves that!

GIIIIIIIIIRRRRRRRRL YOU GOT IT GOIN' ON!

The hotness that is Kelly Brook was seen recently supporting her slave's - I mean Danny Cipriani's team, the London WASPS (HA HA!)


Sports Journo's are starting to rumble and grumble about their relationship and how Danny needs to focus on Rugby and not on being famous despite the fact that he's been phenomenal as of late.

THEY'RE JUST JEALOUS!!!!!!!!

If they had a girlfriend that looked like Kelly Brook wouldn't they want to puff up their chests and show the world "yea I'm tappin' that!" I know I would! Girlfriend is straight up hot! What she was doing with Billy Zane, I'll never know.

I am so jealous of her hair, why can't mine do that? :(

Because I'm obsessed

My WASP boyfriend (LMAO...you know that's never going to get old), Dominic Waldouck will be out for 6-8 weeks with a knee injury:(

Meanwhile, his bff, Danny Cipriani is 'Besotted' with the hotness that is Kelly Brook.


Its definitely an upgrade for both parties. I mean from Billy Zane to Danny Cipriani? from Cheeky girl to Kelly Brook. They've both improved by LEAGUES!!!!! And they're both so hot. But I'm totally convinced that ~*Kells*~ wears the pants in this relationship. HAWT! Love them! They're like the UK version of Gisele and Tom, LOVE IT!