A Kings of Leon Post...I know right?

(Matthew is missing, is he a dad yet?)

During a concert on Saturday in Dallas Caleb left the stage saying he was too hot, he said he was going to throw up, drink a beer and then return. He never did. Both Jared and Nathan took to their twitters apologizing to fans, and Jared in classic Jared fashion said more than he probably should have and continues to do so.

As of now the US tour has been cancelled, the reason: exhaustion, which apparently in the entertainment industry is a euphemism for 'substance abuse', this of course should not be shocking to anyone who has ever paid any attention to King of Leon. These boys were living the fast life way back in '03 and apparently haven't stopped...well Caleb at least. He always was the one causing shit, starting fights, being the biggest prima donna, which is saying a lot. The one with the darkest demons always was, and always will be Caleb. I had hopped he had reeled it in a bit being married and finally conquering the US but apparently not but of course its only a matter of time before a lifestyle of excess catches up with you, and it seems that time is now.

They're supposed to be back on the road by late September but I wouldn't be surprised if that didn't happen, whatever Caleb's dealing with, whatever the band as a whole is dealing with, its going to take more than a month and a half to resolve. I haven't paid much attention to the boys in a long while, what they're putting down, I don't want to pick up but its still sad to see this happening to them when they've worked so hard for so long. What ever's going on I hope they can move past it, it would be a shame to see this all pissed away.

You know what?

I'm totally fine.

If this were 2004, I'd be a mess but as it were its 2011 and Caleb is no longer hot and KOL's music has gone down hill. Lily has 'Only by the Night' and 'Come Around Sundown' I have everything that came before. So clearly I win.

Also, does anyone else think Vera Wang designs glorified prom dresses? I mean if I could afford a 20k+ dress, I would not choose Vera Wang.

Sidenote: If you're getting married, I don't think you should slap on 11 layers of make-up and tease your hair like a drag queen but I also think you should at least attempt to not look how you always do all the damn time, just sayin...

Whatever, I don't even care.

Well Caleb, this is it isn't it? I'm not mad or anything. I'm not even jealous. Like its totally fine that you want to marry a girl that isn't me like whatever I'm like SO over you anyway...

So you can take your reaching music and racist videos and shove it up your ass because we're done...and we were like done before you got engaged so don't even try to throw that in my face, okay? Thanks ANTHONY (because that's your real name) for all the memories. You know it all went down hill when you cut your hair, right?

Bye, bitch!

Excuse me I'm going to listen to Aha Shake Heartbreak, the last good album y'all made, and that's how I'll remember Kings of Leon.

O RLY

That homewrecking model may have stolen my husband, watered down his music, and be...you know, a model HOWEVER we have discovered something from her past that makes all of that inconsequential. Like if we ever get into a screaming match about how he never sees his kids because of her I'll just throw out the fact THAT SHE WAS IN A LIMP BIZKIT VIDEO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (the 2:37 mark to be exact!)



OH SNAP!

Sorry to torture you with rap rock but people, how amazing is this? Don't you feel some kind of superirority over her now? No matter that she's gorgeous, a size zero, and boinking our soon-to-be ex-husband, she was in a Limp Bizkit video, which is an automatic fail in all aspects of her life.

Hey if that's what Caleb wants to associate with well then, we're better off without him!

...MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!

sorry gotta go, Tom [Croft] needs a back rub ;)

THAT BITCH!

Jamie Dornan and Caleb Followill???

I don't know if I should hate her or worship her And THOSE LEGS!!!!!!

please excuse me, while I go kill myself...

And its coming closer

I can't stop listening to Kings of Leon's Closer. I think its because its about mine and Caleb's separation and impending divorce.

...and is it ever breaking my heart!

But this is what he does guys. He breaks my heart and then he writes amazing songs to get me back and it ALWAYS works but will it this time? Can I forgive being groped by frat boys and home wrecking models? Can I forgive lame songs like 'Be somebody' (lame by KOL standards which by other people's standards would be amazing)?


What do I do? I have other responsibilities you know. Other husbands to psychotically fantasize over to take care of. Estates to manage. Designer purses to buy. Crystal to drink. I don't have time for this. For this back and forth of fighting, crying, fucking, fighting, crying, fucking, fighting, crying, restraining ordering. I don't know if I can do this anymore.

...who am I kidding, I'll never be rid of that dead beat. He may be drunk all the time, and cheat on me, and break promises but damn he's so pretty and such a tortured soul HOW CAN I RESIST???????

...but he's still in the dog house!

The Power of Goodbye?

Do I have it in me? Can I really say goodbye to the epic love story that is Me and Caleb Followill? Should I really throw all of our love away because of 'Only by the Night' and home wrecking models? And looking at these 'Aha Shake Heartbreak' era photos isn't helping:

I miss them like this...starved and coked out of their minds

Looking at these photos reminds me of a really good time in my life. Not only because this was the time when I really fell in love with The Kings but also it was a time in my life where there was innocence, no bullshit, no hearbreak, no ~*drama*~. I miss it :(

I heart Caleb Followill MGMT

Since Caleb has decided he's going to cheat on me, I've decided we should separate for a while, you know evaluate our relationship a little. I knew he'd be a challenge, he'd make me cry, he'd break my heart over and over again, but still I chose to be with him because he's uber talented, fucking beautiful, and a tortured soul, plus he writes me SUCH beautiful songs!!!

Tell me could you look into his green eyes and say no??? do you have some superhuman iron will??? I highly doubt that, so don't judge me!


Anyways someone has to fill my rock n' roll void and I nominate Andrew Van Wyngarden from MGMT, why? Well he's really pretty, and his music is what acid should be like, and he's got great hair, and he's in a band and he's really pretty!

So until Caleb some how comes up with a plan to win me back, Andrew darling, you're taking his place!!!!

Get Thee To A Nunnery !!!!!!!!!!

From All The Rage:

Caleb Followill of Kings of Leon, shopping for luxury cast-iron cookware with his girlfriend, model Lily Aldridge, at Le Creuset at The Hill Center. Caleb was wearing an arm sling. Could he be recovering from another bar fight?

WHY??? WHY??? Why, Caleb, why??? Why are you doing this to me???? You're supposed to be shopping with ME for cast-iron cookware; I'M the one who should be nursing your broken arm c/o your alter ego 'Rooster'; its MY name that should be printed in some random gossip liner notes, as your model girlfriend!!!

What happened to True Love Way and Knocked Up, those were our songs, our love!!!!! and now you're seen around town shopping with some random model, how could you do this to me??? I thought we were forever!!!!! Oh fuck, what will I tell the kids???

You really broke my heart Caleb, I just don't know if I can forgive you. You've really fucked up Anthony Caleb Followill, and you fucked up good!

I just need some time and space, are we done? is this over? oh god Caleb, you fucking idiot!!!

And I'm still crazy when I see your face

I think its official, Anthony Caleb Followill has finally lost his mind...like completely:

More Videos

It's time to make my move! Sure homeboy looks a little dirty and fucking nuts but he's pretty much the man of my dreams and yes I'm into that but can you imagine the sex? EARTH SHATTERING!!!! I'd take Caleb over any rich buffed up hockey player any day (yes Sidney that means you too)!

Caleb is totally old skool love: you'd get into a screaming match, he says something about your mother, you smack him, he smacks you. You pause, fire in your eyes, how dare he hit you! You lunge at him, wrap your legs around him, kissing him furiously, you're both panting, hearts beating, both scrambling to get each other's clothes off. He staggers trying to find his footing. Finally he rams you against a wall and pins you. He reaches under your dress and takes of your panties; you unbutton his flannel shirt, exposing his hairy chest. He throws you to the ground. Still standing his fiddles with is belt, you can see his drunk on sex and he wants you BAD! He manages takes to his pants off, and with his boyish smirk throws himself on top of you, your dress is up and--

...AHEM! ERRR...looks like I got a little carried away there heh...well I'm no fan fic writer but y'all can guess how the story ends. The whole point BEING Caleb is, he just is and I would, in a heart beat I would!



PS Jared is such a sexy beast! I'd TOTALLY have an affair with him and when Caleb finds out...ANGRY SEX!!!!! sure he's his brother but they're from the South, they're into that (joke!)

The True Love Way

"and I'm still crazy when I see your face..."

Oh Caleb, let's get drunk off of moonshine, have sex, fight, have more sex, drink more moonshine and have even more sex! I'll live with you in your trailer when you eventually loose your mind!!!!!!!

Old Southern Style

I'm going to see the Kings of Leon on Tuesday and I'm extremely excited! Why? well because Caleb Followill(lead singer) is pretty much the man of my dreams: BEAUTIFUL, rich, socially challenged, a weirdo, fucked up, a bit of a perv, an alcoholic, and a rock star, honestly what more could a girl ask for.

HOWEVER unlike many bands that I love, and when I say love, I mean love; I am not staying behind to meet them. Why? because I really love KOL; their music is what plays in my dreams, its the music my children will grow up on (like they way my parents forced my to love Neil Young and Bob Dylan)! and I am not prepared for them to be assholes and to ruin the soundtrack to my life. I mean, yes it is about the music but if you're a bunch of pretentious assholes then I refuse to support you, thus, I've never bought a killer's album in my life nor will I ever (they aren't that great anyway...yea I went there!).

But really Kings of Leon really do make amazing music. Listening to them is like "fuck, my life will never be the same after this" but you know, in a good way. Today the state of music is backwards; back in the day all the great artists/musicians were popular everybody was listening to them or had at least heard of them but today all the greats are underground/indie artists, how that makes sense I don't know BUT the point of this is...Go buy Because of the Times


End scene