Last night, my delinquent little brother, the
Toronto Maple Leafs, got merkked by the
New York Rangers, as in those little brats were shown no mercy, and had their asses handed to them on a platter.
The score?
6-1!!!
OUCH indeed!
This loss is made all the more worse by the fact that
King Douche himself was playing. I loathe Sean Avery to no end. Why? Well, no hockey league needs his brand of hockey. He's a little bitch with a small penis...ok the last part is speculation but hey it wouldn't be a stretch would it? Avery insists that his on ice persona is nothing like how he is in real life (O RLY) but then he contradicts those sentiments and goes on to say bone headed things like:
"No. I never enjoy going to Toronto, really. So all that'll do is motivate me to play better, probably...Why? Let's see... Because I don't enjoy hockey-obsessed Canadians. The exchange is not very good right now. And it's going to cost me a lot of money in tickets for people I don't even like. How's that for an answer? Would you like me to go on? Nah, I think that's probably enough."
A)Um hey Avery aren't you like, um, Canadian?
B)Errr don't your parents come to see you play whenever you're in town um as in
you buy their ticketsC)Aren't you a millionaire living in Manhattan, probably one of the most expensive real estate markets this side of the Atlantic, and you're telling me you can't afford tickets to the ACC...BITCH PLEASE!!!!
I get it, he says those things just to get a rise out of people, to make the opposing team, and the opposing team's fans to go bat shit crazy but I think at this point Avery's bought into himself, its not just something La Douche does as part of a strategy, its a part of who he is now...which is REALLY pathetic!
Why?
Well do you remember that kid, in school, who thought they were the shit, they wore the right clothes, listened to all the right music, read the right books, said all the right things but there was just something off about him, everything about him seemed feigned, like he read the dictionary definition of cool and tried to apply it to his life, essentially could talk the talk but couldn't walk the walk. well in the NHL that kid is Sean Avery, and like that kid in school, everybody and I mean
everybody is laughing behind his back!
I mean, dude wears black nail polish on his "fighting hand", listens to Sigur Ros before games, sits in the front row at New York fashion week, has the famous Chanel logo over his bed, and his most coveted item is Yves St. Laurent boots...are you dying or are you dying????
In short Sean Avery is a poseur!
He wants to be American? Fine, you Yanks can keep him! First he wanted to be an LA douche bag, graphic-t wearing, 'cool' kid(see
Jenner, Brody) with a C-list celebrity girlfriend. Now he's a hip, GQ reading, Dolce and Gabana wearing, Olsen twin dating, douche bag, who thinks that going to fashion week and going to bungalow 8 will make him cool.
This guy is trying waaaaaay to hard! There's something very disingenuous about him, like he's over compensating for something *cough* micro penis *cough*, maybe he doesn't have any friends; maybe he was never hugged as a child; maybe he knows that he's a C-grade hockey player (if even) and that's all he'll ever be; or maybe the team he grew up watching and loving and idolizing, denied his ass, and maybe the people that was once his own, hates even the mention of his name...my, my aren't we bitter?
Whatever Avery, in about 2 years nobody's going to care about your ass, so enjoy the short-lived [bad] media attention you're getting!
Oh karma where for art thou? Somebody needs a good beat down and his name rhymes with Pawn Waverly possibly by a guy whose name rhymes with Mayan Ficfatattan
