When Hockey and US Weekly Collide

Hockey and in turn hockey players get shafted all the time in the sports world, probably something about it being a niche market, so I always get a little excited when the NHL and by extension NHL'ers make it into the mainstream news and I get VERY excited when they get involved with celebrity gossip, its like watching that panchi commercial: you don't know what the hell is going on but its so amusing you can't look away! We were lucky guys, we have TWO, that's right TWO gossipy type stories involving NHL'ers...unfortunately though, Sean Avery makes an appearance.



First Up: Henrik Lundqvist is apparently consoling Princess Madeline of Sweden (AKA the hot one) after she found out her fiance had cheated on her with a peasant! She allegedly flew to New York and the two were seen together. Let's be frank, shall we, I think Henrik...well I think their interaction included a lot of crying, a lot of ice cream from serendipity, heavy drinking at bungalow 8, and more crying. Besides Henrik has a long term girlfriend *cough*


Next we have the real gossip, because it involves my train wreck hero Lindsay Lohan. Oh that Lindsay Lohan, what a champ eh? In just 5 short years she was able to drink and snort her 'it girl' $7 million a picture, career away and the best part is (or worst depending on how you look at it) we haven't even seen the worst of it, girlfriend has resorted to making milkshakes and giving exclusive interviews to paparazzi to get attention but she still thinks its 2006, she still thinks she's up there with Scarlett Johansson, and Natalie Portman, and Keira Knightly, oh I could write a thesis paper on the fall of Lindsay Lohan, not going to lie, I loved her in high school, so that's why I'm so fascinated at how she became this dirty bottom feeding desperate d-lister. You know you're life is in shambles when Karl Lagerfeld thinks you live 'so dangerously' that he worries about you...Karl Lagerfeld...worrying....about someone. Damn girl!


ANYWAY, here's the deal, model Jessica Stam who is currently dating New York Rangers' Aaron Varros (why not Brooks Laich, Jess?) who apparently f-cked Lindsay Lohan one time (at this point who hasn't) were all at some club with Sean Avery (seriously Jess, BROOKS LAICH) Lindsay shows up sees them all having a good time, and throws a drink in Jessica's face...can you get get anymore low class than a drink in the face? Like she didn't have the decency to walk away nor did she have the guts to throw down, she took the low class, coward approach and threw a drink in Jessica Stam's face...WOW. Anyway apparently she wanted to sit near the DJ and that's were Jessica, Aaron and Sean Avery were, she tried to get the club organizers to throw them out because she didn't want to sit next to her "ex-boyfriend" (she's one of those girls who if you make out with them even if it was just once you were 'dating') but in the words of Michael K: Bitch couldn't get a dead rat thrown out of a Waffle House. Another embarrassing story to add to Lindsay's already impressive resume of embarrassing stories, oh how the mighty have fallen, should we turn away or should we continue to watch like that panchi commercial????

Managed to reference panchi twice, you know you love it!

Oh.

Get ready for some snark and rugby smut!


Apparently Mike Phillips is hot...

Personally he doesn't tickle my fancy. I honestly don't get the appeal, for me he's not that good looking, its only his eyes that could make him but word on the street is he's kind of an asshole and coupled with the fact that in 15 years he will look like David James (bad guy from District 9) Phillips is a no go for me.



Recently he broke up with his girlfriend to be with the overrated Welsh singer Duffy.

Really?


Well, apparently Mike Phillips broke up with his ex through a note (was someone watching Sex and the City?) saying he wanted to be the Beckham of rugby or something to that affect, his response:

Your ex-girlfriend told a tabloid that you wanted to live a celebrity lifestyle like David Beckham, so you ditched her for a more famous woman.

Er, no. I don't think so. All I want to do is be with someone who's got their own thing going on, their own job and their own career; who's independent. I just want someone who's similar to me and who wants to do well for themselves in life.

the guardian

OH SNAP!



OH SNAP!


PLEASE, you know its true, homeboy didn't even have enough decency or courage to break up with his live-in girlfriend, in person. And while I'm sure Duffy's a lovely woman, based on his ex, I'm thinking Duffy's not exactly his type, ya know? She would fit better with Mark Ronson or someone of his ilk.

And if Mike Phillips wants to be the Beckham of rugby he's far behind Danny Cipriani, why? Well for one thing he was invited to an Armani fashion show, rubbing elbows with the designer himself AND he's hitting this:



Yeah, Mike, your leagues behind, LEAGUES!

GIRL CRUSH: Blake Lively

I need this outfit in my life! No matter that I don't have the perfect figure, long legs, and silky blonde hair like Blake, I need this entire outfit in my life, ASAP!



The rose patterned dress, paired with the long cream cardigan and that Chanel bag (which I cannot afford, boo!)UGH, I'm having a fashion orgasm right now! Didn't love the shoes she was wearing, (not shown) I would have gone with black ballet flats...let's just pretend she's wearing those instead of the red strappy booties she's actually wearing.

Srsly though, I need to somehow reproduce this outfit, I think I would look super cute in it, and hopefully my boobs will look as good as Blake's, lol.

But how hot is Blake Lively? I've been in love with her since the first Sisterhood of the Traveling pants. She's a major babe, and probably a major bitch too but I like bitches, so whatever!

Her body is out of this world! She's smoking hot AND she has a real woman's body! She's slim but not too skinny. She has boobs; she has an ass; and killer, non chicken variety, legs. If I could switch bodies with anyone it would be Blake. She looks like she eats carbs but she also looks like she goes to the gym. See girls, who said we can't have our cake and eat it too, I ain't all about looking skinny. I like having boobs and an ass. Forget those low carb, no carb diets!

Back on point here, Blake Lively is hot, so effing hot!

THE END

Looks who's slumming it!

None of these girls are particularly stylish. Maybe if it were Blake Lively on the cover, with America Ferreria (yea traveling pants girls!) and Emma Watson, a style issue would make sense BUT Us weekly isn't really about style now is it? Its about publicity!

-LC is on the cover every other week, its her shtick, and now that she's a ~*real designer*~, why not use her usual soap box magazine, to sell more jersey dresses for $10 million dollars?

-Taylor Swift is on the cover because they're trying to make her happen...like mainstream happen. She's dating a Jonas brother, was at the VMAs, she's crossing over and what better way to cross over than a cover of US weekly?

-Hilary's on the cover because she has lyke a greatest hits album coming out, and a single, and lyke movies and stuff, so she like needs this so people can lyke remember who she is

Srsly, Hilary? Srsly???

I'm not saying that Lindsay Lohan's above doing a photo shoot for Us weekly, I'm just saying that she wouldn't need a reality tv star, and country's latest teen sensation to grace the cover along with her to make it bankable, ya know what I mean? ~*Linds*~ sells magazines, ~*Linds*~ is an A-lister in the fame game (not in the movie game though, far from it in fact). She was on the cover of Vanity Fair! Has ~*Hil*~ ever been on the cover of Vanity Fair?



Let me put this into perspective for you ~*Hil*~, Shenae Grimes made the cover of US weekly...sure she shared it with Silver BUT Sliver's on par with Shenae in terms of fame, they're costars, they're friends, whatever BUT she's been famous for all of 2 minutes and you've been famous since you were 13 and all you could get from US weekley was a badly stylized shoot (light pink dresses on pale, blonde girls with soft lighting, who does that?) with that chick from the Hills and, Joe Jonas' gf...

So I guess this means your fame is on par with Taylor Swift. With Lauren Conrad.

Girl, your stock has plummeted!

Don't believe me? Well here's an eye opener for you (if sharing a cover with LC wasn't enough):

HEIDI MONTAG GOT HER OWN COVER!!!!!!!


Omg, that's lyke totally sad ~*Hil*~...

I think you need a new boyfriend (MUAHAHAHAHAHAHA) and I nominate Shia Labeouf, he may be a douche but he's sexier than Mike Comrie, and would definately boost your stock in Hollywood and then you could become friends with Megan Fox and lyke totally talk shit about ~*Linds*~, YES PLEASE!

Do it girl! 'Cause apparently, you're not that famous anymore...

The puck stops here...and the high drama starts!

WOW!!!

I did not see that one coming at all! Now I'm not so sure...





more to come! its too early and I have to be at work in an hour