So Much For That Whole Goalie Problem

Dear Toronto Maple Leafs Vesa Toskala,

Hey honey buns! Sugar plum! Apple of my eye! Last night you were off the hook...like fo' real son! You shut out my boys the sens...THE FREAKING OTTAWA SENATORS!!!! I know!!! I can hardily believe it and judging from your post game interview, neither can you! Fuck Raycroft that's what I say! I mean, I may be biased because I think you're too cute, and you're my #1 favourite goalie (yes you have now usurped Illya "its plus seven" Bryzgalov as my favourite goalie) but that's neither here nor there, the point is, you were a pivotal part in my delinquent little brother beating the Leviathan of the Eastern Conference (you gotta love my metaphors, eh?)!!! You were all over the place, yous was loco esse!!!

I never thought I would ever be this happy for the bitches in blue beating my boys the sens but my god, its because of you darling, its all you!!! Now come home to mommy and we'll have some Finnish sausage*wink* *wink*...ugh I'm such a perv, how do you deal with me?


Love,
Nicole

Date, Marry, Kill The Bitches in Blue edition

I'm starting off in my hometown! The delinquent little brother on riddlin who I love to hate and hate to love; oh Toronto Maple Leafs, quit putting dog shit in my bed or I'm telling mom!

I would date Nik Antropov:

Nik is good looking in that typical Euro pretty boy sort of way. He probably listens to DJ Tiesto, wears shoes without socks, and most likely has a subwoofer in the trunk of his car. We'd summer in Ibiza, sniffing coke and drinking martinis. Homeboy's European so you know our sex life will be off the hook! Plus he's arguably the best player on the team but he's definitely not husband material, something tells me homeboy is kind of a pansy, probably really clingy and would cry after a fight and me not likey!

I would marry Vesa Toskala:

Vesa 'baby face' Toskala, tell me could you resist? My favourite leaf, my second favourite goalie, and the cutest face in the Eastern conference. Picture him with babies, and at soccer practice, and date nights, and falling asleep on the couch with the television on *squuuuuuuuueeeeeeee* a husband you'd adore till the end of time, Oh Vesa be mine!

I would kill Brian McCabe:

Honestly, would you notice if he were gone?