Coles Notes On The NHL

Raffi Torres of the Edmonton Oilers is out for the rest of the season because of a torn ACL or some shit. I'm really going to miss his bleach blonde goatee...

PHOTO SHOPPED!!!! Husband no. 5 is on the cover of January's issue of Men's Fitness and um...Sidney's no male model let's put it that way! Ugh his hair, it kills me, clearly he hasn't been reading any of my fan mail! Jordan Staal really needs to give homeboy some pointers either that or Crosby needs to start watching America's next top model; Practice in the mirror Crosby, smile with your eyes, be aware of your body!


The All-Star starting line-ups have been announced:

East

Sidney Crosby - Crosby, starting in the All Star game, NO WAI!
Vincent Lecavalier - Vinny playing on a line that doesn't include St. Louis and Richards, NO WAI!
Daniel Alfredsson - Alfie playing on a line that doesn't include Spezza and Heatley, NO WAI!

Andrei Markov - Meh, whatevs
Zdeno Chara - Genetic freak...who can fuck a bitch up!

Martin Brodeur - Brodeur??? What about Lundqvist???? BOO!

West

Henrik Zetterberg - WERD!!!
Pavel Datsyuk - uh sure, whatever works!
Jarome Iginla - SCORE! Iggy is the best player in the NHL, skilled player, fearless leader, and a genuinely nice guy, I VOTED FOR YOU!!!!!!!!!

Nicklas Lidstrom - yea I voted for you too...the 2nd time around
Dion Phaneuf - ~*fierce*~, don't disappoint me Dion, I voted for you...the 5th time around

Roberto Luongo - Count Chocula is ready to shut out the East...Dude get a haircut!


OY! Where's Ovechkin??? He better make the team, that kid's on fire, NO LIE!