Date, Marry, Kill: The Carolina Hurricanes Edition

Its been a while since D.M.K. so in honor of Carolina sucking royally lately (losing 2nd place to New Jersey, WTF???) let's do them 'canes, shall we?

I'd Date Mike Commodore:
I'm not going to lie, I do find Mike Commodore hugely attractive. He's got great bone structure, ginger hair, and if it weren't for that eye injury (or whatever the hell happened) homeboy would be hella hot!!! But alas what's done is done, and despite his lazy eye, I'd boink Commie in a New York minute! Pffft like you wouldn't. Commodore, I think would be a decent boyfriend; he'd probably do the typical boyfriend things like forget your birthday; go out to dinner with you and your single friends and be awkward about it; not take out the garbage unless told to do so; drink milk straight out of the carton; and when he wanted to get down and dirty you'd mostly likely reply with "not tonight, honey"...you know, usual boyfriend stuff. But the thing with Commie is, I'm like 100% sure that the relationship would start red hot, like sex on the hood of his F150 but then would cool off pretty quickly like having sex once a week and the whole time you're thinking about doing you're taxes. Sorry Mike, I just don't feel the way I used to, its over! (He'd be a great nostalgic lay, am I wrong?)


I'd Marry Rod Brind'Amour:


Oh yes you read correctly, I'd so totally marry Rod Brind'Amour! Never mind the fact that he's not getting any calls from GQ *cough* or the fact that I was 1 years old when he entered into the NHL(and had a mullet *gasp*) but let's talk about what is husband material:
a)A man who is responsible - Rod is the Captain of the 'caines, and lead his team to a win a Stanley Cup in 2006
b)A man who would be a good dad - Carolina has these weird personality profiles on their site for their various players (who wants to know Andrew Ladd's favourite colour anyway?) and as one of his favourite activities, Rod put spending time with his kids, tnawww so cute!
c)A man who has a good job - HELLO, professional athlete here!
d)A man who is respectful and honest - Clearly I don't know him personally but judging from his interviews Rod's a pretty good guy, plus all his teammates love him and if a Staal loves you then I love you!
e)A man who looks good in a suit - check above photo, and tell me he doesn't look sharp!

Plus there is just something about Rod that awakens the primordial instinct inside of me, every time I see him on tv, I want to jump through the screen, jump him, and just BREED! Yes animalistic, earth shattering sex with Rod Brind'Amour...you can toooootally picture it, can't you! (pervs!!!!!)


I'd Kill Cam Ward:


I know what you're thinking, "Oh Cam, he's just so gosh darn cute and he's Canadian and he's such a nice guy, why are you offing him?" Well I've got 5 words for you: His.Favourite.Band.Is.Nickleback. Any objections, now...yea I didn't think so!