Baby, why you gotta do me this way?

This is too good not to share. Not only did our boyfriend, Tom Croft, beat the French and also swiped man of the match he also has a sordid past...


Now before I go on, let's define deal breaker, shall we:

Deal Breaker [n] is the quality/appearance/ideology held by an individual that is the deciding factor in which one concludes whether or not to move on romantically with said individual. Deal Breakers can be completely superficial or entirely justifiable.

example:
"What was the deal breaker?"
"He listens to Kenny Rogers. I just can't date someone who listens to Kenny Rogers!"

Some of mine include: being a fan of Nickelback; being Conservative; being intolerant; driving an F150 when you don't need to(you're not a construction worker or a farmer, wtf are you doing?); being a pretentious asshole; wearing gawy graphic tees; continuing to showcase your dance moves even though you can't dance!

And the last point brings me back to our boyfriend Tom Croft. Why, you ask?



c/o The Independent:

Tom Croft was a member of the West Berkshire Youth Dance Group, where he studied contemporary, modern, and street dancing.

WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT??????????????



Let's just back the fuck up and take this in


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I'm picturing it guys, are you picturing it?

WHY AM I PICTURING IT????????

Its ruining him for me!

Honestly, look at Crofty! Big ole, goofy, awkward, heavy weight, Crofty! Can you imagine him getting down with his bad self and it actually looking good?



NO NO YOU CAN'T! because it isn't possible, alright! Not with his 6'5, hunched back and that goofy look permanently plastered all over his face, OKAY? IT JUST ISN'T PROCESSING! THAT' JUST AIN'T RIGHT!

I remember back when I was in grade 8 I was completely in love with WWE's Jeff Hardy (shut the fuck up) that is until they showed a clip of him dancing, and it was all over, not only that but I was completely repulsed!

...is this what's happening right now? We've only just begun perving on Tom Croft, it can't be over already?

Ok, ok, ok, maybe I'm overreating. Its only words at this point, there is no visual evidence of him actually dancing

...but still he was part of a dance group, a crew if you will, this is something that can not be overlooked, cannot be forgotten.

This is me right now:


Maybe in the morning, Tom, maybe in the morning...