Remember my post about Sidney Crosby? Ok the one about him being a dork? OK the most recent one about him being a dork? Anyways! For being in the media spotlight since birth. homeboy sure is socially awkward! Sure he gives all the right answers, and says all the right things, and can definitely steer clear of questions he doesn't want to answer and/or answers like a politician AKA gives an answer that doesn't really say anything (SIDNEY CROSBY FOR PRIME MINISTER 2025 !!!!), but his excecution of those answers are tres awkward! You can tell home boy is naturally shy and well, a dork! Sidney gets especially awkward when there's mention of girls or "oh my daughter will just die when she finds out I met you, I wish she were here, she LOVES you!!!" (ugh, please!), so when I found this photo on The Hockey Rants Blog, I L.O.L.'ed:
First things first a) What the fuck are those chicks supposed to be? b)I don't mean to be a traitor to my sex or anything but when you go out in just body paint with your tits hanging out that's 1)TACKY and 2)Slutty AND c) What the fuck are they supposed to be?!!?!?!?!??
Now that's out of the way, check out the look on my homeboy's face; smiling, but its an awkward smile with a mild tinge of disgust, like "OMG I hope my mom doesn't see this" or "OMG that chick's tits are totally hanging out!" or "OMG what the fuck am I doing here?" Not the type of reaction you'd expect from a hockey player.
I don't know what it is about the game of hockey but once a male puts on his hockey gear, whether its House League or the NHL that player becomes a douche bag (unique only to male hockey players)! The degrees of douche baggery vary from player to player, depending on his up bringing, whether or not his parents are psychotic hockey parents, or whether or not the player has any sisters or not, etc. Of course Sidney is not immune to this affliction, which you'll see many-a-time when you watch him play, but what's so different about home boy's douche baggery is that he keeps it on this ice (see Crosby v. Blake). If that were any other hockey player, i.e. my favourite and recently injured,Oiler, Matt Greene, you know dude would have his hands firmly around those chicks' waistes...ok maybe a little higher than their waists, with that satisfied douche bag "'sup ladies", look on his face...oh you know the face of which I speak!
In any case, the fact that home boy looks very uncomfortable between those chicks, is just another testament to his character, NO SLUTS ALLOWED!!!!!!! Keep it classy Crosby! You do not want your children to be half trash, do you?
PS Sidney darling, if you're going to take photos with chicks make sure they're hot, I know you can do better, hell even your models weren't hot! Shape up son! You're supposed to be a superstar! Mike Comrie bagged the annoying horse teefed, Hilary Duff maybe you should try a Victoria's secret model. I suggest Karolina Kurkova, bitch is hot as they come AND she's nice...no not nice for a supermodel but nice for a human being! You'd be such a hot couple!
PPS What's this phenomenon of chicks dressing slutty for Halloween? Believe you me I almost fell for it but then I stopped and was like "Why? Do I really need to degrade myself?" I'm no prude (clearly!) but c'mon why be subordinate to male sexual fantasies? if I dress up as a sexy nurse, then dudes should dress up as half naked Paul Newmans, its only fair! And until that day comes, no sexy french maid costumes for me!
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