Puck Bunny

I don't know if it has anything to do with the hockey culture up here in Canada or what but hockey players are damn fine!!!! I mean there are some hockey players that are hot PERIOD, NO MATTER WHAT (i.e. Vincent Lecavalier, above)!!! And then there are others that make me wonder, that if they were any Joe on the street, would I turn my head? would I quiver? would I fantasize? would I name our brood of 7 (yet to be born) children? would I write Mrs. Nicole Comrie on all my notebooks way back in 2001? WOULD I??? Now its Sidney Crosby; Sid the Kid, the next great one, the boy wonder, the messiah of hockey,etc. etc.

I haven't thought much about Sidney Crosby, I mean I know he's a great hockey player, the highest goal scorer of this past season, maybe he could save hockey...maybe, whatever saving hockey means(???). I never used to think he was OMG SO HOT, like I did/do Lecavalier(sigh). I remember just being angry at the hockey community for being assholes and putting so much pressure on this, well, kid (we're the same age you know!). And thus I boycotted the 'Crosby is the next great one' train, because if he were to crash and burn I wouldn't be responsible. So there hasn't been any Sidney Crosby on my Puck Bunny radar...that is until May of this year.

I was sitting in the 50s style dinner with a group of friends, eating grilled cheese, drinking my milkshake, and listening to Bobby Vinton. There were TVs all over the place, and its playoff season, and its Canada so of course hockey was on. All I remember is that I wanted Anaheim to win and they didn't (The mighty ducks movies defined my childhood and our street hockey games, so it meant something), so I look up at the television and who do I see? The hottest French Canadian since le bonhomme de neige, mon ami Vincent Lecavalier. I was completely mesmerized because he was in a suit and his hair was combed and he was so damn HOT! Then came Sidney Crosby, oh my god Sidney Crosby! He was also in a suit, his hair was also combed, and fuck he was DA-UM FIONE!!!!!!!! Not only did he meet everyone's expectations but her surpassed them! He brought the Pinguinos to the playoffs, he was the highest goal scorer of the season, he was also apparently a bitch and dived all the time, BUT his hair was combed and he was in a suit, and he was looking FIONE!

So now that Sidney is hot (in a typical but awkward hockey player sort of way, and has the most nervous laugh LIKE EVER, and his voice is so soothing in that typical canuck accent sort of way, he has a great strong hockey player body, that could lift me up and throw me around if he wanted to, and I'm convinced he's good in bed!) its Sidney all the time, its Sidney Patrick Crosby in my dreams, sigh! Our birthdays are 3 weeks apart! bet'cha didn't know that!

BUT back to my original point, not even if he weren't "Sid the kid", what if he was just some dude from Nova Scotia, who didn't play hockey, like at all, (because I get turned on by even house league players, ugh I'm so affected by my environment...) would I still find him hot? would I still want to get it on? I mean he's attractive in his own right, I just ignored him because of the pressure that was put on him, but now that I know success comes easy to Sidney, I can pay attention to him BUT what if he were successful at school or something normal, would I still want his lips to be everywhere (is that too much information?)???

Oh, these tough philosophical questions that I must wrestle...


Did I mention bitch is 20 and has like ZERO neck, LOVE IT!!!!!!

PS I saw my friend's boyfriend on the train the other day, I know who he is (b/c of facebook) but he doesn't know who I am anyways DUDE was totally checking me out, wtf is that all about, whatevs, I'm sure it was nothing...err NOT