Pretend Boyfriends are the Best!

Apparently, my new boyfriend, Dominic Waldouck's, perfect woman is Sienna Miller. Now I like Sienna Miller, I think she's hot; I like how she dances to the beat of her own drum, and I like the fact that she was born a hot mess BUT finding this out is like finding out that they guy you've been crushing on, has just revealed to you that he likes your best friend.



Its happened to me on more than one occasion and on everyone of those occasions, my bff discovers that she likes him too, and then I have to stand against the wall and watch my best friend and the boy I've been fantasizing over for weeks, dance, drink, flirt, and make sexual advances towards each other, all.night.long.

It hurts, and you want to hate the bitch but you can't because she stayed on the phone with you for hours while you teen agnsted it out because your parents ~*just don't understand me*~, and you've had endless sleepovers, where you got drunk/high, and shit talked the night away. And you want to hate that prick but you can't because he made you laugh, and drove you home so you wouldn't have to take a cab. So you just stand there, hurt, angry, sad and frustrated that all these emotions can't be expressed, can't be verbalized because if you did, it would hurt two of the people you loved most.

And then you make batches and batches of cupcakes, to eat your pain away...


But I digress this will never happen with Sienna and Dominic. Why? Well Sienna may be Dominic's type but Dominic is not Sienna's type.

Sienna's type are what I (and Arnold) would call girly men. They are effeminate, pretentious, OLDER, and are, a touch crazy. They wear scarves, drink lattes, are 'artists', and probably cry after sex. Methinks that none of what I just described applies to Dominic. So I'm safe. We're safe!



Having pretend boyfriends are amazing, I know it might seem crazy but, with real boyfriends, could you go out get drunk, dance/flirt/make out with any guy you choose?

NO, no you can't, but I can! Why? because I have pretend boyfriends and I can do as I please, when I please, without having to waste my youth on some guy that just wants to 'get down' and then get moody and mad at me for reasons unknown, pfffttt I don't need that shit!

I'm young, I'm unattached, and I'm going to flirt with every good looking boy that comes my way! Plus pretend boyfriends come in handy when undesirables catch your scent, its easier to lie if the lie is half written with the truth: "Oh I have a boyfriend. He plays rugby. Yea he's big and muscular. We're really in love. Yea..."

AMAZING!