I'd date Brandon Dubinsky:
Baby faced Dubie, tell me could you say no? Dubes is from Alaska, which is kind of like what the rest of America thinks Canada is like, so you know that means that he knows how to avoid hypothermia. Brandon's 21...yes that's right 21 but he looks like he's 15 which could be good because when you're having your quatre life crisis, unable to get over the fact that you aren't 17 anymore, you're 20, you could turn to your baby faced bf in a NY cab, and pretend like you're a couple of crazy kids going to get drunk on moonshine in cenral park OR it could be bad because the tween hockey fans will no doubt give you a migrane when they see Brandon "OMGZ he's lyke 2 cute" Dubinsky whilst on your date at serendipity, ugh shoot me now!
I'd marry Colton Orr:
I always thought he was a douche...I mean he is a douche, a HUGE douche, an agitator, an unmemorable hockey player with a memorable name but what makes homeboy so desirable is that he's a sexy beast...yes I'm shallow! AND he's even hotter WITH facial hair (take note Sidney) Well at least I know he can kick some ass, and what's more attractive than an alpha male right? who am I kidding we'd be divorced within a year but the sex would, no doubt, be off the hook...and we'd totally have nostalgia sex for the rest of our lives in shady holiday inns
I'd kill Sean Avery:
I'm like 100% sure I'd get a Nobel Peace Prize for offing this punk ass bitch!
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